Because You Looked a Gift Shoe in the Mouth!

Blackjack player, after dealer busted: Now the horse is on the other foot!

Lake Tahoe, Nevada

Overheard by: Charles Alverson

Posted on May 10, 2009
Animals, Body parts, Default, Guys, Nevada, Weirdness

Who's Daddy's Little Hell Spawn?

Man to small daughter: Do you know why they cut the elephants' tusks off? It's so they won't poke or hurt anybody. (pause) Just like we cut your fangs off when you were young.

St. Louis Zoo
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Katie

Posted on April 29, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Dads, Default, Guys, Missouri, Questions

…That I Dipped in Cat-Food.

Teen girl #1 to friend: Ew, your breath smells like fish!
Teen girl #2: It's 'cause of the Swedish fish.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 28, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Geography, Girls, Pennsylvania, Teens

This Will Easier to Explain with a Cone and Two Scoops

Nanny to five-year-old: Look, Stephen, there's a kitty!
Stephen, petting cat: Since boys have short hair and girls have long hair, then this kitty is a boy.
Nanny: Maybe not. Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair too.
Stephen: Then how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?
Nanny: How 'bout some ice cream?

Washington, DC

Posted on April 5, 2009
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Food, Girls, Guys, Hair, Kids, Questions, Washington, DC

And No Pants!

Little boy: I wanna be a duck.
Mother: You wanna be a duck?
Little boy: Yeah, so I can walk around with my eyes closed.

Australia

Posted on March 31, 2009
Animals, Australia, Body parts, Default, Guys, Kids, Questions, Women

You're Really Cute, Wendy, but You're a Fucking Sociopath

Girl #1: So last week, I went to find my cat…and I found her dead on the side of the porch.
Girl #2: (unphased)
Girl #1: And then, I went into the backyard to feed my dog…and I found him dead on the side of the house!
Girl #2: (starts laughing uncontrollably)

Escondido
San Diego, Calfornia

Overheard by: see-are-uh

Posted on March 30, 2009
Animals, California, Death & dying, Default, Girls, Weirdness

Wouldn't the Dragon Own You?

Girl on bus: I've always wanted to ride a motorcycle.
Guy on bus: Yeah, I don't have one but I'm pretty good at driving them.
Girl: Oh, I don't want to own one, just ride one.
Guy: Yeah, that's how I feel about dragons.

Auburn, Alabama

Posted on March 24, 2009
Alabama, Animals, Bus, Default, Girls, Guys, Weirdness, Wishes

Nobody Really Understood The Happening

Teen boy in car to dog walker (at top of his lungs, worried): Hey, girl! Watch out! The dogs are poisonous!

Midlothian, Texas

Posted on March 21, 2009
Advice, Animals, Default, Guys, Kids, Teens, Texas

That Rug Really Ties the Room Together

Girl student: So, the Federal Government is like, a puppy, like (giggle) they're so cute… And like, you want to just cuddle them, then they're naughty and it's bad.
Teacher: Kelly, could you please explain a bit more? I'm not getting your reasoning here.
Girl student: Well…they do good things, and it's cute, then they like pee on your rug, and it's bad.
Teacher: I promise you, the next time a member of the Federal Government pees on my rug, I will go bonkers.

Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: Tizri

Posted on March 19, 2009
Animals, Beauty, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Pee, Questions, Students, Teachers

Ever Wake Up in Mid-Sentence, With No Idea What You're Talking About?

Male student: Sorry to use an STD metaphor again, but I think the bee pubic hair represented herpes.

Whittier College
Whittier, California

Overheard by: Sam (kind of hard not to)

Posted on March 6, 2009
Animals, California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Hair, Maladies, STDs, Students

Animals