Archive for the ‘Arizona’ Category

And No Zippers!

Little boy looking at swim trunks: I can’t get one with a small hole because my penis gets stuck!

Tempe, Arizona

And You Didn’t Invite Me

Sweet old lady: Well, when we moved to Gilbert we started up a garden and thought we had volunteer tomato plants.
Sweet middle aged lady: Volunteer?
Sweet old lady: You know, they came up without us planting them. So I started watering them and giving them fertilizer, and they got pretty big. Then one day I was eating dinner and I saw a boy jump over our fence in the back, rip out one of the plants, and take off with it!
Sweet middle aged lady: He stole a tomato plant?
Sweet old lady: Well, there was a sheriff down the street a few days later, so I told him about it. He came over to look at them, and told me they were marijuana plants!
Sweet middle aged lady: They weren’t tomatoes?
Sweet old lady: I thought they were, but whoever lived there before us must have planted marijuana in their yard, and when I started watering they sprung up again.
Sweet middle aged lady: That gives me a funny feeling, knowing your house had drug users in it.

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Mia

Happy Hour Starts in 15 Minutes

Professor: Okay, let’s review. What’s it called when you put geological events in sequential order?
Basketball star #1: Calligraphy!
Basketball star #2: Naw dude, that’s writing.
Basketball star #1: Oh yeah…that’s what the Egyptians did, huh?
Basketball star #2: Naw, that’s hieroglyphics, man.
Professor: The answer is “stratigraphy.” Let’s move on quickly.

Geology 101
Mesa, Arizona

Overheard by: YeahKey