Thug #1: Everybody calls that girl “Orangutan titties.”
Thug #2: What? Why?
Thug #1: She's the one that flashed everybody back in freshman year at that one assembly, and her titties be all pointy and shit.
Thug #2: I remember that shit, that was pretty fuckin' funny.
Thug #3 (after a long pause): Man, orangutans are fuckin' weird.
Thug #1: Yeah, monkeys be fucked up.
MDN High School, Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: I saw this whole assembly thing, too.
Huge black guy to other (in fake British accent): Sir Oscar! Are you attempting to take a break?
LA Fitness
Tempe, Arizona
Sorority girl on cell: I was so horny and swallowing back puke…it was like I was a freshman all over again.
Tuscon, Arizona
Overheard by: DoingTooMuch
Female college student: Do boys still really have cooties at thirteen?
Male college student: Nope. That’s when they get penises.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Meghan
Guy: So, I tore my ACL.
Over-enthusiastic friend: Tell ’em how you did it!
Guy: Masturbating!
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Victoria
White guy with dreadlocks: I don't even know how many penises and swastikas are drawn on him. It's ridiculous! (walks by a parked pickup truck, reaches in the window, and honks the horn) Horn works!
Owner of the truck: What the hell?
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Felicity
Lady on cell: No, no, no! See, the reason I bring this up is because her spaceship is covered in shag carpeting…
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Caleb
Women speaking to crowd at rally: We're here to take a stand against violence towards girls and women!
Solo guy in middle of the crowd: Woo! Yeah!
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Can you yell innapropriate?
60-something man: I don't want to be with my first wife for an eternity! She is Satan's sister.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Fluffy
