You Can Feel Their Effects for Thousands of Years

Freshman: Are Arby’s sandwiches any good?
Junior: Arby’s sandwiches are Jesus Christ!

Gilbert High School
Gilbert, Arizona

Posted on October 6, 2015
Advice, Arizona, Compare and contrast, Food, Jesus, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teens

So I Just Bought All Those Staples for Nothing?

Bimbette: Sex makes everything so complicated. Seriously, I’m going back to being a virgin.
Friend: Honey, you’re never going to be a virgin again. It’s impossible.
Bimbette: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!

Tucson, Arizona

Posted on September 11, 2015
Arizona, Bimbettes, Philosophy

Wait, No, She’s Just Really Tan! Oh My God!

Passerby: Oh my god! Look at that woman’s outfi– Oh, never mind. She’s ethnic, it’s okay.

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Rasputin

Posted on August 11, 2015
Arizona, Race, Strangers

And I’ve Been Drinking the Water That Smells Like Antifreeze

Dude: Oooh, they’re so warm. I like to put it to my ear after they get out.
Chick: Yeah… It smells like carrots.
Dude, scoffing: I don’t know what kind of carrots you’ve been eating!
Chick: The kind that smell like paper.

1401 University Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona

Posted on August 5, 2015
Arizona, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Guys

The Rehabilitation Began with Starship Troopers

Boy watching Indiana Jones: Why are the Nazis always the bad guys?
Thug: Who are they supposed to be?

Flowing Wells High School
Tucson, Arizona

Posted on July 26, 2015
Arizona, History, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Should have used a condom, Thugs

Perfect for Showcasing Your Upper-Arm Bruises

Little girl: What do you think, Mommy?
Overenthusiastic mom: That’s a cute little wife beater!

Target
Fayetteville, Arizona

Overheard by: D00M5D4YCH1CK3N

Posted on July 14, 2015
Arizona, Clothing, Kids, Moms

Dan Brown Totally Deserves This

50-something white-haired British guy: I know you!
Stranger: No sir, we haven't met.
50-something white-haired British guy: I remember you from before!
Stranger: I'm sorry sir, I just don't remember you.
50-something white-haired British guy: I was there too! We were both knights of Templar! You were Mary Magdalene's personal guard… How have you been all these years!?

Grand Canyon
Arizona

Overheard by: J

Posted on July 13, 2015
Arizona, Crazies, History, Memory lane, Strangers, Tourist attractions, Weirdness

His Life Is a Rich Tapestry of Loud Bullshit

50-ish white lady: He’s a Christian rapper, but during the day he sells insurance.

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Ashley

Posted on June 26, 2015
Arizona, Compare and contrast, Music, Religion, Weirdness, Whiteys, Women

Unless She Gets Knocked Up Again in the Interim

Girl #1: So do you have any friends who are total disasters like us, who would want to go to Vegas that weekend?
Girl #2: I have a friend who's getting an abortion next week.
Girl #1: Oh, good, so she'll be good to go by then.

Bar
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Orkide

Posted on June 9, 2015
Abortion, Arizona, Bars & Clubs, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Questions, Relationships, US Geography

They Can Sense Deities and Terminators

Daughter: What’s the dog barking at?
Mother: Jesus.

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: smellmyknee

Posted on June 6, 2015
Animals, Arizona, Moms, Questions