Chick: So, what’s so special about this phone other than making millions of people shit their pants simultaneously?
Guy: It hasn’t got any buttons, or some-such. It can tell who you want to call by reading your mind. Also, it smells like flowers and tastes like bacon. Which is handy, since it can regrow its own skin. And fly.
Chick: Well, I’ll be.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: I did NOT shit my pants.
Customer, bursting through door: Is there a gentleman here named “male libido?”
Bartender: Yep!
Prescott, Arizona
Overheard by: The Colinator
Mom in bathroom stall: Okay Michael, come on, you have to pee.
Son: Mom, I don't wanna play games with you!
Mom: What is wrong with you? At least put your clothes back on if you're not going to pee!
Tempe, Arizona
Boy: I should be a rent-a-cop.
Girl #1, laughing: You'd be the least believable rent-a-cop ever.
Girl #2: Yeah, they might mistake you for a gay stripper.
Tempe, Arizona
Freshman: Are Arby’s sandwiches any good?
Junior: Arby’s sandwiches are Jesus Christ!
Gilbert High School
Gilbert, Arizona
Bimbette: Sex makes everything so complicated. Seriously, I’m going back to being a virgin.
Friend: Honey, you’re never going to be a virgin again. It’s impossible.
Bimbette: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!
Tucson, Arizona
Passerby: Oh my god! Look at that woman’s outfi– Oh, never mind. She’s ethnic, it’s okay.
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
Dude: Oooh, they’re so warm. I like to put it to my ear after they get out.
Chick: Yeah… It smells like carrots.
Dude, scoffing: I don’t know what kind of carrots you’ve been eating!
Chick: The kind that smell like paper.
1401 University Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona
Boy watching Indiana Jones: Why are the Nazis always the bad guys?
Thug: Who are they supposed to be?
Flowing Wells High School
Tucson, Arizona
Little girl: What do you think, Mommy?
Overenthusiastic mom: That’s a cute little wife beater!
Target
Fayetteville, Arizona
Overheard by: D00M5D4YCH1CK3N
