Suit #1, referring to scar on suit #2's throat: What happened to you?
Suit #2: My daughter is batshit. What of it?
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Suit #1, referring to scar on suit #2's throat: What happened to you?
Suit #2: My daughter is batshit. What of it?
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Teenage girl to friend, giggling: So then she said she was going to put diarrhea on my face!
Toronto
Canadia
Loud man: …and he wakes me up at night licking my eyelids!
Siam Orchid
Manchester, New Hampshire
High school freshman: I once knew a guy who knew a guy who was a cyclops!
Kenosha, Wisconsin
Woman on cell: She'd look sharp if she had some teeth. She's just got to go get those teeth, though!
33 Bus
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyson
Weird Asian guy: You’ve never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It’s a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I’ve heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: deb
Girl wearing cleats: What would you do if I cleated you in the vagina?
Friend: Why would you do that?
Girl wearing cleats: No, really, like what if I cleated you right in the labia?
Baltimore, Maryland
16-year-old: Mom, if you don't have herpes, why'd I find Valtrex in your purse?
Mother, seriously: I got Valtrex from the eye doctor for my yeast infection, Kim*.
Illinois
Girl #1: Get your hand out of your crotch!
Girl #2: It's not in my crotch!
Girl #1: Yeah, well it's in my way!
Girl #2: (laughs)
Girl #1: No, no, no, no! Wait! No!
Boston, Massachusetts
Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don't donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You'll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you'll get paler and paler… and keel over and die. Homie can't fly that. Homie can't.
Math Classroom
Hawaii
