Little boy, to stoic mother in shoe aisle: I love the night life! I like the boobies! I love the night life! I like the boobies!
(five minutes later, at checkout lane)
Little boy, to stoic mother: I love the night life! I like the boobies! I love the night life! I like the boobies!…
Kohl’s
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Me too, my man.
Guy: What are you showing me? Bruises on your knees? You can’t do that with every guy in the band you know.
Girl: I know. But that would be awesome if I could!
Carroll Community College
Maryland
Overheard by: Left Speechless
Frat boy #1: … And it just came out on her thigh. He didn’t even get it in. Just wound up on her thigh.
Frat boy #2, mumbling: Dude! I hate when that happens.
Frat boy #1: What?!
Frat boy #2: I said I ate some chicken.
University of Alabama, Alabama
Overheard by: CB
Suit on cell: Yeah, well, we got into a fight about whether she would rather have a regenerating salami foot, or a regenerating cheese hand. She chose cheese hand, but I explained about the salami foot being protected by socks, while the cheese hand is exposed to everything. The conversation just went downhill from there…
Bellevue, Washington
Female student, looking at Valentine candy display: Oh, I love those little cinnamon hearts.
Male student: Oh, me too. When I was a kid I used to snort them up my nose.
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Blundergrad: I was really irritable today. There was something up my butt. Literally!
Northwestern University
Illinois
Biology professor: There are a lot of great tits in england.
Knox College
Galesburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Oh, bio…
White HS boy, in fake deep voice: That’s why titties and Tater Tots don’t mix!
33X Bus
Nashville, Tennessee
Adult woman to girlfriend’s six-year-old daughter: Oh honey! You got your knees all skinned up with boo boos! What happened?
Six-year-old girl, shrugging: Oh, you know… Boys.
South 4th St
Louisville , Kentucky
Sorority girl #1: I should, like, just wear mini skirts all the time.
Sorority girl #2: Why?
Sorority girl #1: I have great legs, they’re my best asset. [quiet pause] But I don’t like my personality.
Dressing Room at Buffalo Exchange
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Yes! She just redeemed herself
