Girl #1: It was cause and effect, he bit me on my hip.
Girl #2: So you slept with him?
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Girl #1: It was cause and effect, he bit me on my hip.
Girl #2: So you slept with him?
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Serious girl: Nothing important has ever been typed with the thumbs.
UNT Campus
Denton, Texas
Overheard by: Having a Cigarette Break
Wannabe pickup artist: So, tell me your secrets.
Hot girl: I’m not sure…
Wannabe pickup artist: C’mon.
Hot girl: Okay, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.
Wannabe pickup artist: Fine.
Hot girl: I have a tail.
Albany Park
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Ivan Alfaro
Girl: I think my ribs are double-jointed.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Student: Maybe he’s gay for the snake.
Teacher: Did you just say “gay for the snake”?!
Pleasantville High School
Pleasantville, New York
Teacher: Oh wow, I just noticed that I’m not wearing my wedding ring. I feel half naked… You guys are lucky that I’m not.
Ontario
Canadia
Little old lady to husband: I don’t care how many times you’ve washed it or how clean it is! I’ve lived 60 years without my tongue making acquaintance with your asshole, and I’m not about to introduce the two of them now!
St. Louis Street
Lebanon, Illinois
Overheard by: AlternknitiveKnitter
Bartender: Geez, Hank, you’re looking great these days. Been working out?
Chubby Jewish guy: Yeah. I tell ya, I’ve been trying to lose the spare tire, but I lost it all in my earlobes instead. It’s a cruel world.
Suami’s India Garden Resturant
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Jeebus McGee
Professor: So, the point of this lecture is never, ever buy a squirrel monkey. They will plot your demise and gouge your eyes out in your sleep.
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Little boy looking at zebra with erection: Mommy, five legs?
Mom: Yes, honey, five legs.
San Diego Zoo
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Kim and Amy
