Also, “Boner”

Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.

Catholic University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Ditto.

Posted on January 25, 2022
Bathing, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Education, Teachers, Washington, DC, Words

I Promise Not to Look at Joan Rivers from Now On

20-something guy: Why are you so concerned about this?
20-something girl: No, seriously. It will split your corneas in half.
20-something guy: Wow, I hadn't thought about that.

St. Paul, Minnesota

Posted on January 24, 2022
Body parts, Default, Fears, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Minnesota, Questions, Weirdness

It Enchants All the Men Who See It

Teenage boy: I'm so ripped my back has a six pack! Six-pack back!

Portland, Oregon

Posted on January 20, 2022
Body parts, Oregon, Teens, Weirdness

From the Hilarious Teen Comedy Can't Hardly Walk

Guy #1: I'm so totally better than him. I have two properly functioning legs.
Guy #2: So does he, they just don't work quite as well as yours.
Guy #1: That's what the crutches are for.

High School
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Alex

Posted on December 25, 2021
Body parts, California, Compare and contrast, Guys, Health & Hygiene, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

Really, Who Wants to Lay Eggs and Have a Guy Shoot on Them?

Student #1: My friend's mom didn't let him watch The Little Mermaid because she was half naked.
Student #2: Yeah, Ariel was such a ho-bag.
Student #1: You know she just wanted those legs so she could spread 'em.

Loma Linda, California

Posted on December 2, 2021
Body parts, California, Movies, Parenting, Students, Wishes

With the Same Impure Love You Have for Hello Kitty

Hipster guy, earnestly: Yeah, you’ll love her; her face is really funny!

16th & Market
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 30, 2021
Body parts, Compliments, Default, Guys, Hipsters, Pennsylvania, Words

Freud's Children Were His Primary Inspiration

Dad walking towards hotel lounge: Where are your hands?
Young daughter: Somewhere they shouldn't be!
Dad: That's right! Somewhere they shouldn't be!

Austria

Posted on November 24, 2021
Body parts, Dads, Default, Etiquette, Europe, Girls, Kids, Questions

Audrina from The Hills: Explained.

Woman #1, washing hands: What happened to your chin?
Woman #2: Oh! Uh, Justin head-butted me.
Woman #1: He what?
Woman #2: Oh, well, not like on purpose or anything, just, like, while we were messing around, or whatever.
Woman #1: Mmmmm…
Woman #2: Yeah, I was in like a bad accident when I was a kid so my face doesn't take blunt force trauma very well since then.

Manhattan, New York