Smurfette: “I Paid a Lot Of Money to Even-out These Puppies.”

Blonde girl #1: It's like we've tried countless times to get her to stop, and she just calls us “anorexic whores” and tells us she'd rather be “doming up” guys.
Blonde girl #2, laughing: You need a ruin Smurf plan.
Blonde girl #1: But we've tried everything! It's like “get over yourself! You look like a 1980s cartoon character, with uneven boobs and a crazy tan!”

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on October 4, 2017
BJs, Body parts, Canadia, Character, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Words

I Meant More of a Moral Worm

Father: … But worms don’t have arms and legs. You have arms and legs, don’t you?
Young son: Uh-huh…

Charlestown Square
Newcastle
Australia

Posted on September 13, 2017
Australia, Body parts, Dads

Was Alvin and the Chipmunks Banned in Canadia?

Lady #1: So we have these squirrels in our backyard, and I don't know if the rabbits got to them or what, but they don't have any tails, just these stubs.
Lady #2: (laughs loudly)

Union Station
Toronto
Canadia

Posted on August 16, 2017
Animals, Body parts, Canadia, Violence, Women

From Your Belly Button and You: A User’s Guide

Woman to friend: You just lift up your shirt, look down, and there it is.

St. Catharine’s
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: J Menz

Posted on June 21, 2017
Advice, Body parts, Canadia, Clothes, Default, Idiots, Stupidity, Women

And Did You Bring Enough for Everyone?

Professor at anatomy lecture to student touching her own throat: Ivanova, what are you gonna be touching when I'm lecturing on the sex organs?

http://anekdot.mail.ru/inner.html?rubric_id=2

Posted on May 27, 2017
Body parts, Default, Education, Other sites, Questions, Sex, Teachers

Nature: 2 Nurture: 0

Teen Boy Scout (after narrowly avoiding tripping): And that's why I'm so good at swing dancing. I have hips like an angel.

Amtrack
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Duckie

Posted on April 14, 2017
Body parts, Bragging, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Dancing, Default, Illinois, Pride, Teens

Which Most People Only Try a Couple of Times in College

Girl #1: Yeah, I hate when people talk about babies like they grow in your stomach. They're in your uterus!
Girl #2: Yeah, it's so dumb. Like, that's not even possible unless you swallowed a penis…or ate a baby.

Connecticut

Posted on April 13, 2017
Body parts, Connecticut, Default, Girls, Penis, Pregnancy, Stupidity, Weirdness

The Sort Of Thing That Keeps Us in Business

Guy, telling girl how to inspect screws in a table: Reach up, right up in there…
Girl: Right here?
Guy: Yeah, can you feel it?
Girl: Uh-huh…
Guy: Okay, now can you play around with it with your finger?
Girl: Uh-huh…
Guy, after long pause: You know, if anyone overheard this conversation, it would sound pretty bad.

Security Park
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Cool Breeze