California

Little boy being pushed in cart: You smell!
Dad: No, you smell!
Little boy: No, you smell!
Dad: You smell!
(a little later)
Little boy: That was awful!
Dad: Only because you think it is.
Little boy: You're a sock!
Dad: Oh, I'm a sock now?
Little boy: A soooock!
Dad: No, you're a sock!

Whole Foods
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Kafrin

Guy: Hey, where are you going?
Girl: To the library, to do some work.
Guy: Oh, I don't care, but that's cool. (walks away)

Oroville, California

Guy #1: I really don't think it's that bad. I dunno why he's so mad. I mean, all she did was show her boobs to some cameraman for some money. It's not like she did anything wrong, right?
Guy #2: What if it was your girlfriend on Girls Gone Wild? How would you feel?
Guy #1: I dunno… Glad I get to see them for free?

Irvine, California

Overheard by: cheekzz

Blonde #1: Woaaaaah!
Blonde #2: What?
Blonde #1: Look! A black guy!
Blonde #2: Woaaah!

Valencia Mall, California

Overheard by: Tim

Girl: Mom, you have to buy me a book.
Mom: I just bought you beef jerky!

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Ciara & Eric

Old man employee:… So I was at the Cabbage Patch Kid factory in Georgia…
Young trailer trash dude employee: Cabbage Patch Kids?!? I’d rather hold hands with a midget clown than play with one of those things!

Hardware Store
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: kat

Gay dressing room associate: Did you find everything alright today?
Attractive female shopper: Everything except a pair of pants.
Gay dressing room associate: We'll just have to find you a pair, then.
Attractive female shopper: No, that's alright. The pants here never fit me correctly.
Gay dressing room associate: Well, I'll see if I can't fit you in my pants.
Attractive female shopper: Wait… What?

Banana Republic
Marin, California

Young single woman talking about her date with an older man: I was like, “Don't kiss me yet, you're an old man!”

San Rafael, California

Single guy at preschool picnic surrounded by pretty MILFs: Clean, perfumed mommy flesh!

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Made me laugh

Suit #1: Yeah, I went in for a colonoscopy last week.
Suit #2: Really? How was it? Painful?
Suit #1: No, actually, with all the Demerol they gave me I don't remember anything about it…love that Demerol…so much so that I think I'll schedule another ass scope for next week.

Modesto, California

Overheard by: Ken Lane