Woman on iPhone: Well, he was doing squats, so I didn't think it was inappropriate to stare at his ass.
Trader Joe's
Campbell, California
Woman on iPhone: Well, he was doing squats, so I didn't think it was inappropriate to stare at his ass.
Trader Joe's
Campbell, California
Nigerian man to wife loading small children into overcrowded rental van: Come, we are in America now! We go home and eat cheese!
Rosicrucian Museum
San Jose, California
Tipsy girl to friend on phone: Who are you talking to?
Friend, suspiciously: No one!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your drinking?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your vagina?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Good, cause I don't know how I would do that.
Drunken guy from end of the bar: I can do it!
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: three_eyed_fish
Male student: Sorry to use an STD metaphor again, but I think the bee pubic hair represented herpes.
Whittier College
Whittier, California
Overheard by: Sam (kind of hard not to)
Teacher to student: See, why can't you be more of a brown noser, like him? (points at another student)
Student: Because I don't like the taste of ass?
(class groans)
Teacher: Don't knock it till you try it.
San Diego, California
Teen #1: And we can decorate it!
Teen #2: With glitter and sparkles?
Teen #1: Gawd, you are like a deprived five-year-old.
Fullerton, California
Overheard by: Does glitter make you younger?
Single 30-something woman to friend, as random guy rides by on bike: I would so ride off with him and do anything he wants…unless he's totally into dungeons and shit.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Steve
(two hipsters stare quizzically at short Chinese-American male)
Chinese-American male: No, what's confusing is I'm becoming Mormon and having a sex change.
UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California
Obnoxious student in scarf: He was chewing the umbilical cord like licorice.
UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California
Organic chemistry professor: Let me show you guys what I like to do in my office, in private.
UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California
