Canadia

Rowdy child in shopping cart: Mom! What's that?
Tired mom: Spam.
Rowdy child: Mom! Can we get it? Can we get it, mom? Mom? Can we? Mom!
Tired mom: No.
(rowdy child starts freaking out)
Tired mom: Okay! Fine, but will you eat it?
Rowdy child: Nope…I just like attention.

Sobey's
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: aleXis

Blonde student to teacher: Is the New Testament in the Torah?

Edmonton
Canadia

20-something girl to another: I love hairy West Coast men. If they look like they haven't showered or shaved in a good week, send 'em my way.

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

Guy with burger to friend, loudly: Penguins are fish, and fish don't eat fish!

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: kib

Girl #1: I can just ask Jay if I can borrow his truck.
Girl #2: Do you ever give him gas money?
Girl #1: No, I give him sex.
Girl #2: But gas is expensive…
Girl #1: And sex is expensive if you have to pay for it.

North Bay
Ontario
Canadia

Pastor, placing a piece of bread in guy's hand: The body of Christ, given to you.
Teen girl, just in earshot: The body be stale, yo.
Teen girl's friend: I hear ya.

St. Jude's Church
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Feebriel

Man on cell: I am completely incapable of original thought.

Toronto
Canadia

Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: My friend said that I should use Photoshop and imagination to do this. I have Photoshop, but where can I get imagination? I've never heard of it.
White boyfriend: You're kidding me, right?
Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: What?
White boyfriend: There is no software called “imagination.” Just use your imagination. Duh!
Smokin' hot Filipina girlfriend: You're so not getting a blowjob tonight.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: The white boyfriend

Artsy emo: It was like lesbian Fight Club! First Leema liked Holly, then she liked Tracy, who liked Nicola, who also liked Holly. So Nicola and Leema got in a fist fight and in the end, Tracy and Holly had sex in the woodshop classroom!

Toronto
Canadia

Chick #1: I’m ugly.
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: I am ugly.
Chick #2: Who told you?!

Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: Library Girl