Four-year-old boy, wielding plastic sword and shield: It's a knife!
Boy's mother: No, it's a sword.
Four-year-old boy: No! It's a knife!
Boy's mother: No, no, no, Danny. Knives are for cutting. Swords are for vanquishing.
99 B-Line
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Frodo Baggins
Nerd: Wait until I build my synthetic body — then we’ll see who’s laughing!
University of Saskatchewan
Saskatchewan
Canadia
Asian girl in bright coat: Oh my fucking god, I think I just lost my virginity.
Blonde girl: Wait, how does that even work?
Asian girl in bright coat: The end of the teeter-totter seat is like totally up my ass, and it's like penetrating.
Blonde girl: Oh.
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: Shawn
Airhead #1: Are you cousins with her?
Airhead #2: Not really… her mom and my mom are sisters.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Guest lecturer: My pants are animate, socks are inanimate.
Linguistics professor: Did you just say your pants are animate?
Guest lecturer: Yes, if it's near your genitals it's animate.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Breanne
Cop: It better be your own shit you are throwing this time, Martha.
Citadel Theatre
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Guy on bus: If I ever write a book, it'll be about how to kill my brother in the most painful way possible.
Girl on bus: But he's two.
Guy on bus: I don't care.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Asian guy: I hate going there. There’s too many Asian people. I hate being around so many Asian people. It feels too foreign.
Asian friend, holding two Japanese language books: Yeah.
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Kunoichi
Prof: I tend to walk around, so the students at the back of the class are just as likely to get fingered for a question as the ones at the front.
University of Guelph
Canadia
Overheard by: scared student
Obnoxious chick: … And I was like, ‘Yo, get your STD blood off my shoe! You lick it off!’
DRT bus
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
