Like Canadian Jumping Beans

Guest lecturer: My pants are animate, socks are inanimate.
Linguistics professor: Did you just say your pants are animate?
Guest lecturer: Yes, if it's near your genitals it's animate.

Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia

Overheard by: Breanne

Posted on November 13, 2014
Balls, Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Questions, Teachers, Vagina, Weirdness

I Don’t Want to Have to Run You in for Theft, Too

Cop: It better be your own shit you are throwing this time, Martha.

Citadel Theatre
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Posted on November 13, 2014
Canadia, Cops, Crimes, Poop

I Told Him There'd Be Repercussions If He Put Another Cheerio Up His Nose

Guy on bus: If I ever write a book, it'll be about how to kill my brother in the most painful way possible.
Girl on bus: But he's two.
Guy on bus: I don't care.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Meech

Posted on November 10, 2014
Age and ageing, Bus, Canadia, Default, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Murder, Weirdness

I’m Careful Not to Spend Too Much Time with Women

Asian guy: I hate going there. There’s too many Asian people. I hate being around so many Asian people. It feels too foreign.
Asian friend, holding two Japanese language books: Yeah.

Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Kunoichi

Posted on November 8, 2014
Asians, Canadia, Default, Friends, Gripes, Guys, Race

Some of You Will Get Fingered in the Front, and Some Will Get Fingered in the Back

Prof: I tend to walk around, so the students at the back of the class are just as likely to get fingered for a question as the ones at the front.

University of Guelph
Canadia

Overheard by: scared student

Posted on November 6, 2014
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Sexuality, Teachers, Words

But That’s What the Virus Wants!

Obnoxious chick: … And I was like, ‘Yo, get your STD blood off my shoe! You lick it off!’

DRT bus
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Posted on October 10, 2014
Biotechs, Canadia, STDs

Except with a 10-Foot Pole

Horny girl: I’m scared! I don’t want to get turned on by a tampon! I don’t want to lose my virginity to a tampon… It’s just, like, vagina creeps me out so bad, like, I look for excuses not to touch it.
Friend: Yeah, vagina is gross. I avoid touching it.

Stauffer Library, Queen’s University
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: andrea