Teacher, explaining sign up sheet: So, where it says “What are your plans?” You need to just put something like “Doctor,” “lawyer,” etc.
Blonde in back, whispering to girl next to her: Girl, I'm putting down “stripper,” then all of my classes will be in the humanities building!
College Orientation
Washington State Community College
Girl in North Face jacket and Uggs to clone friends: I mean, why couldn't it have been a normal suicide? Like, this week? Really?
Penn State Library
University Park, Pennsylvania
Chick: It wasn’t, like, black people-scary. It was, like, Appalachian-scary. I didn’t feel like I was going to be shot, I felt like I was going to be eaten.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Guy #1: I was supposed to interview my grandma for my sociology project, but I didn't. I'm going to have to like, make up her life right now.
Guy #2: Why didn't you interview her?
Guy #1: Well, she lives in Oregon, and you know, the time change…
Guy #2: Dude, there's no time change from here to Oregon.
Guy #1: I know that, shut up! I'm trying to make myself feel better.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Beatrice
Girl #1: Ew! Are you gonna ask her tonight? You gonna ask her?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Why she has a huge fucking bush!
Girl #2: Oh, for sure!
McGill University
Montreal
Canadia
Guy, singing: He'll only be your friend if he touches your breast…
Girl: What?!
Guy, not singing anymore: It's like my favorite song.
Metro State
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Squid
Professor: I could go to Mark*, for example, and say, “hey, you have to do this or I'm going to shoot you.” (to Mark*) Uh, sorry.
Mark*: Well, at least you're polite about it.
Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: S.m. Torres
Guy: My parents seem fake. My parents' friends seem really really fake.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Girl on cell: Yeah, last semester the professor had this obsession with mayonnaise. It was freaking everyone out.
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Tori
Professor: I advise you all to make love, at least once, outside in the rain. It's the best feeling in the world.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Mackenzie
