Girl to friend: I distinctly remember him saying “I still have the dildo up my ass.”
UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Girl to friend: I distinctly remember him saying “I still have the dildo up my ass.”
UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Jock: Dude, I went to our professor's office yesterday, and you know what? She has a giant bottle of lube just sitting there on her desk!
(pause)
Friend: You jackass! That's hand sanitizer on her desk, not lube!
University of Colorado
Overheard by: I keep the lube in the drawer
Girl #1: Well, it doesn't bother me.
Girl #2: That's because you don't have to look at it!
Girl #3: You. Look. Like. A. Whore.
Girl #4: But a mermaid whore!
University of Florida
Guy on cell: Have you ever heard “Dreidel, dreidel ” played on guitar? It's fucking awesome!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Bro #1: Dude, now that you're here…
Bro #2: We can start making some fucking memories!
Michigan State University
Freshman, loudly walking through dorm lobby: It wasn't an STD! …just, like, a germ-filled cesspool…
CSU
Fort Collins, Colorado
Male roommate to another: Don't jump on me. I have a boner.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Statistics professor: So let's say we ask a random question, such as “have you had unprotected sex with a prostitute in the last week?”.
(class laughs)
Statistics professor: Most people would answer “no.” Including myself. I'll leave it up to you to decide if that's the truth or not.
University of Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Danielle
Receptionist, explaining e-mail to coworker: Or she may have even did the grammar slightly off.
Library
Arizona State University
Field hockey jockette: And then I said, “at least you didn't get gonorrhea!”
Ursinus College
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: reading in the lounge
