Student: So, the only way they won't kick me out of college is if I was diagnosed with a mental problem. Do you think I can pull off bipolar?
University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire
Student: So, the only way they won't kick me out of college is if I was diagnosed with a mental problem. Do you think I can pull off bipolar?
University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire
Drunk guy to two girls: No, really! My ultimate fantasy is to have sex with a ridiculously hot girl while you two are on the futon eating cheetos!
Aburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Guy to girl: I just had this overwhelming urge to drink vinegar, and it worked!
University of New Orleans
Louisiana
Sorority girl, upset: And then her other sister had sex with my sister!
University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: really curious about the rest of that conversation
Guy: So they would smuggle one of these toy dogs in their shirt pocket.
Girl: Why don't they just put them in their bras? It's like “yeah, I got a boob job while I was in China.”
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: RU serious
Old man on cell: Are they suckling decently? (pause) You might as well get it over with and drown them, if you know what I mean. (pause) Well, yeah, but are they swallowing?
Michigan State University
20-something suit on cell (angrily): But mom, you don't understand! Everyone I know is already on the folk dancing team!
Brigham Young University
Provo, Utah
Chemistry professor: Now, it may seem that nature has gotten it wrong–but like me, nature never gets it wrong.
University of Auckland
New Zealand
Music history professor: Darwin says that the sole purpose for living things is to survive and procreate. What about us, as musicians? Do we need music to survive and procreate? Well, some people believe that music was created as a sort of mating call. Compare the reproductive life of Jimi Hendrix to the reproductive life of… well, me.
Class: Um…
Music history professor: Well, clearly I win hands-down because of all my groupies.
1 East Mount Vernon Place
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: stravinsky
Girl #1, about girl #2's umbrella: That's so skinny!
Girl #2: Yeah, thanks.
Girl #1: You could do bad things with that…
Binghamton University, New York
Overheard by: Jillian
