College boy #1: Like what does that mean? I don't go to class! Do you go to class?
College boys #2 and #3: No!
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: On my way to class
College boy #1: Like what does that mean? I don't go to class! Do you go to class?
College boys #2 and #3: No!
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: On my way to class
Black girl #1: Girl, it is freezing outside.
Black girl #2: Girl, I know, right?
Black girl #1: Nigga, you know what? I don't have any blood, and since I don't have blood I turn blue all over. All the blood I do have is in my ass, because it is so luscious.
Black girl #2: Oh, nigga, I know that is right!
University of North Carolina at Greensboro
Girl in restroom #1: I just found an eyelash in my bellybutton!
Girl in restroom #2: Is it yours?
Girl in restroom #1: Yeah…I think.
Auburn University Student Union
Auburn, Alabama
Guy: I am making this shitty 50% less sodium Progresso chicken noodle soup. Tastes like penis!
Girl: Always an appealing taste.
Guy: If I ever get a twitter, that's my first status.
Girl: I'm tempted to get one. (pause) A twitter, not a penis.
University of Kansas
Guy on porch to girl with big boobs in low-cut top: I love me some triple Ds!
Girl with big boobs in low-cut top: Good call!
Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Sorority girl #1: Oh my god! I am like, not okay. I am not okay.
Sorority girl #2: Oh my god, are you okay?
Sorority girl #1: Yeah, I'm okay. But do you see me? I am not okay!
Bathroom, Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: just trying to pee
Sex and Violence professor, at the end of the semester: You are sexy, you are violent. It's been an honor.
Pomona College
Claremont, California
Overheard by: Mell
Faculty master: You know, our building won the sportsmanship award this year. It wasn't thanks to me, though. Some kid kicked a ball out of bounds, and I yelled “you play soccer like a freshman that's never had sex!”
Faculty Master Dinner
USC, California
Guy: Nothing, nothing turns me on more than Jurassic Park-themed role play.
Queen's University
Kingston, Canadia
Overheard by: Kat
Anatomy professor, turning up lights: Wake up, it's the male reproductive system! How many times have you heard that before? (class laughter) Hopefully not many times before.
UNC
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
