Teacher to class: What is your number one fear surrounding public speaking?
Student: Assassination.
Universtiy of Colorado
Overheard by: Owl is a hairstyle
Guy with clipboard: Do you have a minute for human rights?
Guy walking by: No. (pause) Wait, did you say humans rights?
Guy with clipboard: Yes.
Guy walking by: Oh, I thought you were one of those crazy environmentalist people.
Guy with clipboard: No, we're crazy gay rights people.
University of Colorado, Boulder
Overheard by: Violentvixen
Chick on cell: Hey! I had a miscarriage! Wanna hang out?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Girl, giving tour: Here is my favorite, one of our the weight training rooms.
Guy on tour with Australian accent: Do you train here as well?
Girl: Yes, this is my event.
Guy: What? Weightlifting?
Girl: Yeah. I'm training for the snatch.
Guy: What?
Girl: It goes like this. (demonstrates weight lifting move)
Guy (not suppressing grin): And how much is your snatch?
Girl: I start with 83 pounds.
Guy (snickering): Reeeally…
Girl: Yep. Also the clean and jerk.
Guy: (leaves tour group, unable to suppress laughter)
US Olympic Training Center
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Two-year-old, holding plastic dinosaur up to ear: Uh-huh, mommy, it's been a really hard day.
Teacher: It's been a hard day, huh?
Two-year-old: Excuse me, I'm on the phone!
Preschool
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Flight attendant: Please refrain from smoking for the rest of your life.
Flight over Denver, Colorado
College chick to friend: With my luck I'll be the girl with the twenty-foot clitoris.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: ORLY
Latin professor: Can anyone use a Latin interjection in a sentence?
Student: Lo! Look at that angel!
Latin professor: Yes, that is a very common interjection.
University of Denver, Colorado
Professor: If you want to get drunk and run around your house naked in your free time that’s your own business, but you’re not going to do that at work when you’re in public.
Metropolitan State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado
