Tonight on Fox: Rapunzel–the True Story

College chick to friend: With my luck I'll be the girl with the twenty-foot clitoris.

Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: ORLY

Posted on November 17, 2015
Colorado, Default, Friends, Sorority types, Vagina, Weirdness

…Ever Since She Became a Character on Laguna Beach

Latin professor: Can anyone use a Latin interjection in a sentence?
Student: Lo! Look at that angel!
Latin professor: Yes, that is a very common interjection.

University of Denver, Colorado

Posted on November 6, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Education, Language barrier, Students, Teachers, Words

Yes, the Naked Guy in the Back –Question?

Professor: If you want to get drunk and run around your house naked in your free time that’s your own business, but you’re not going to do that at work when you’re in public.

Metropolitan State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado

Posted on October 20, 2015
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Drinking & drunks, Education, Etiquette, Teachers, Wishes

Mom and Dad, Especially

Barista #1: So, I had this totally fucked up dream last night. I was, like, having sexual relations with my brother…
Barista #2, totally serious: That’s not weird.
Barista #1: I know, but the weird thing was everyone around me was really uncomfortable with it.

Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: I’m uncomfortable even hearing it

Posted on October 19, 2015
Baristas, Colorado, Family ties, Sex

You Could Just Steal the Boxed Set, Sweetie.

Teenage daughter: Mom, I have a plan for my future.
Mother: And what's that?
Teenage daughter: Save someone's life so they are indebted to me and will buy me the complete Twilight Zone boxed set.
Mother: Between this and your brother who I haven't seen in four days, I don't think I screwed up at all.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

Posted on October 3, 2015
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Family ties, Moms, Parenting, Stupidity, Teens, TV shows

Have a Relatively Explosion-Free Day, Everybody!

TSA guy #1: Why aren’t you patting everyone down?
TSA guy #2: That’s what the machines are for.
TSA guy #1: Do you see the machines working?! Do you see anyone walking through the machines?!
TSA guy #2: Oh. Oops. Oh, well, it happens.

Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Stephanie

Posted on September 29, 2015
Colorado, Coworkers, Technology

Without Warning, It Leaped Out of Its Hiding Place

Girl to cross-dressing friends: …and then my butt scared him.

Gay Club
Denver, Colorado

Posted on September 6, 2015
Ass, Colorado, Default, Fears, Girls

…And Clear High Heels

College girl #1: I washed this shirt and it got, like, bigger!
College girl #2: Well, at least you can wear it with tights now.
College girl #1: I know, but I don't want to look like a slut.
College girl #2: I feel like I look less slutty when I wear my sunglasses.

Boulder, Colorado

Posted on August 30, 2015
Chicks, Clothing, Colorado, Fashion, Sexuality, Weirdness

…Does Hallmark Make a Card Saying That?

Girl to friend: Sorry about your vagina, but I'm sure the dog is okay.

Bar
Colorado

Posted on August 29, 2015
Animals, Bars & Clubs, Colorado, Default, Girls, Vagina, Weirdness

My Autobiography Features Some Great Tips.

Chick to cop interrupting honor students' discussion: Oh, um, we were just talking about how we would cover up a murder.
Cop, laughing: Oh, you would not believe how many times I've heard that…

Metro State College
Denver, Colorado

Posted on August 10, 2015
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Cops, Default, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Murder