Couples

Their Humps Are Actually Human Skulls

Boyfriend looking at stone sculpture of camel: Yo, what do camels eat?
Girlfriend: Camels eat people.
Boyfriend: I think they eat grass.
Girlfriend: No. Camels eat people.
Boyfriend, turning to passersby: Excuse me, what do camels eat?
Passerby #1: Uhh…I think they eat plants.
Girlfriend: No! Camels eat people!
Passerby #2: But, look, they don't have any claws or fangs. They can't eat people.
Passerby #1, disgusted: They eat plants.
Girlfriend, scoffing: There's no plants in the desert! That's why they eat people. Camels eat people!

Royal Ontario Museum
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Camels should eat some people…

Out Of What?

Middle-aged woman shopping with husband: If we weren't so old, I would say “let's go into the parking lot and make a baby.”

Target
Hackensack, New Jersey

Now I Smell Like Paris Hilton!

Girlfriend to boyfriend, after emerging from bathroom: Hahaha! I peed on my hands!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/365155800/this-doesnt-happen-unless-you-want-it-to.html

Overheard by: that's disgusting. Really.

Stacy London Was a Challenging Kid to Raise

Woman to husband: Honey, do you think this would be a good fall coat for me?
Five-year-old daughter: It looks like an old-fashioned coat.
Woman: I knew you were gonna say that!
Five-year-old: A young lady like you shouldn't wear such an old-fashioned coat!

Target
Allen Park, Michigan

…I'm Saving That for Marriage.

Girlfriend: Ugh, I can't think about hot dogs or sausages when I eat them. I can't bare to think what body parts I'm eating.
Boyfriend: Oh, hush. Look at what else you eat.
Girlfriend: I know, but I like you! And I wouldn't eat your arm!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Hugh Grant Sparkles in Four Curries and a Ridicule

Man to patiently smiling girlfriend: Well…uh…I make quite a *mean* tuna fish curry. Uh…*or* a sardine curry. Uh…and have been *ridiculed* for it.

Clifton
Bristol
England

Overheard by: Sarah

You're That Guy Every Day.

Girlfriend: I'm gonna get a black wig and a skirt, and I'm putting body-glitter on you and doing your hair like you're in 90210 and you're going as Edward. It'll be like ironic.
Boyfriend: I'm gonna put some mayonnaise on my pants and go as that “jizzed in my pants” guy.
Girlfriend: No, you're not.

Gainesville, Florida

No More Decisions for You, My Pet

Smoking man in expensive suit to smoking woman in expensive dress: And then, either way, you're a zombie. Right?

Toronto
Canadia

Oooh, Coal! What about Coal?

Girlfriend: I have a great idea for an alternative energy source!
Frustrated boyfriend: You’d better not say ‘the sun’…
Girlfriend, after a pause: Oh…

UC Davis
California

Overheard by: student on the bus

Go Fuck Yourself?

Wife of fat guy: Y’know, honey, I heard on Oprah that every 35 pounds you lose, you gain an inch in penis length.
Fat guy: I know I could stand to lose 70 pounds, but what am I gonna do with a 22-inch dick?

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardincali/

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