But the Make-a-Wish People Laughed at Me

Drunk guy to two girls: No, really! My ultimate fantasy is to have sex with a ridiculously hot girl while you two are on the futon eating cheetos!

Aburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Posted on February 1, 2020
Alabama, Beauty, Colleges & Universities, Creepsters, Default, Drunks, Etiquette, Food, Girls, Guys, Sex, Sexuality, Weirdness, Wishes

But It’s Dolphin, Dolphin, Dolphin, Every Damned Night!

Creepster: Given the choice, I’d rather eat a convict than a dolphin.

Kingston, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Dumbfounded

Posted on January 19, 2020
Canadia, Creepsters, Food

Especially the One from Little House on the Prairie

Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what’s your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter’s name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.

Bar
Los Angeles, California

Posted on November 1, 2019
Bars & Clubs, California, Comebacks, Creepsters, Customers, Default, Drunks, Family ties, Guys, Insults, Names, Questions, Servers

The Technical Term Is “Cellmates”

Man #1: You can fuck any part of the body if you have a sharp object close by.
Man #2: Just shut up and give me a beer.
Man #1: Seriously. Wouldn’t it be great if you were fucking someone’s ribs, and just as you came you punctured their lung, and with their last dying breath, it shot out their nose?
Man #2: Why are we friends?

Biddeford, Maine

Posted on October 11, 2019
Creepsters, Cum, Maine, Sex, Violence

You’re a Real Gentleman

Dude: I think I should wait until she has breasts.

http://www.overheardinvancouver.ca/

Overheard by: david

Posted on November 21, 2018
Creepsters, Overheard in Vancouver, Rack

He’s Got the Extemporaneous Rhyming, but Can He Rope-a-Dope?

Voluble man: Hey, blondie! Hey! Guess what? I’m the prettiest man on this here bus! I’m like Muhammad Ali! Get your degree, smoke your crack free, national American methiversity! Hey, blondie! Guess what? I gots the prettiest dick on this whole bus! You should come over and check it on up!

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/03/that_commercial_was_on_when_i.html

Overheard by: blondie

Posted on August 11, 2018
Bragging, Creepsters, Overheard in Minneapolis

…as Salad Dressing.

Creepy mustached dude: Yep, so that's nine weeks of good urine testing. And about four weeks ago, I started using my own.

Dunkin' Donuts
Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: All I wanted was a coffee

Posted on April 21, 2018
Connecticut, Creepsters, Health & Hygiene, Pee, Weirdness

They Usually Have Pretty Cool Stereo Equipment

Customer: My therapist wants me to start thinking of men as friends. Seriously though, if you can’t fuck’em, what’s the point?

Espresso Drive Thru
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: The Barista Who Loves Her Job

Posted on November 18, 2017
Advice, Creepsters, Customers, Default, Gender issues, Guys, Mental illnesses, Questions, Restaurants, Sexuality, Washington

Carlos Beltran: I Hate Being an Outfielder

Female Mets fan: I’d let the whole infield fuck me in the ass with no lube if it meant they would win the World Series.
Friend: Classy, Michelle, real classy.

Braves-Mets Game
Queens, New York

Overheard by: aaron

Posted on November 7, 2017
Ass, Backdoor, Bimbettes, Creepsters, Etiquette, Friends, Girls, New York, Offers and requests, Weirdness, Wishes

…Through Binoculars.

Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I’m just used to seeing you from behind.

Hartford, Connecticut

Posted on August 30, 2017
Ass, Compare and contrast, Connecticut, Creepsters, Default, Education, Etiquette, Girls, Names, Students, Teachers

Creepsters