60-year-old dad to son while leaving restaurant: Thanks for joining us for lunch. It was good. Now I can go home and spread my seed.
Chinese restuarant, 5 Mile and Merriman Road
Livonia, Michigan
60-year-old dad to son while leaving restaurant: Thanks for joining us for lunch. It was good. Now I can go home and spread my seed.
Chinese restuarant, 5 Mile and Merriman Road
Livonia, Michigan
Son: Dad, how do people have sex with dogs?
Father, philosophical: Same reason people have sex with sheep… Or horses.
Son: Well, how do dogs get pregnant, then?
Father, quickly: Humans can’t get dogs pregnant.
Son: But how do the dogs get pregnant from having sex in the ass?
Father, worried: Nobody can get pregnant from anal sex!
Son: Yeah! Doggy-style!
Father, nervous: Bitches get done in the vagina, which you can do from the back. Believe me, it’s back there if you look for it. Dogs never do anal sex — only people do that.
Son: Hmmm…
Bay area, California
Overheard by: I don’t wanna look that hard
Dad to howling toddler: Stop it! Suck it up! You don’t hear anyone else crying, do you?
United flight descending into O’Hare
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Teen daughter screaming hysterically: Daddy, if you loved me you would have gotten me business class!
Ruffled dad: Are you fuckin’ kidding me?
Logan International Terminal
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: feeling conflicted in steerage
Host: Would you like a booth or table?
Young mom: A booth is fine.
Four-year-old: I don't want a booth!
Young dad: Hey, knock that off or you'll be eatin' out of the trash.
Orange County, California
Overheard by: Poofy
Boy to father about girlfriend standing right next to him: She decorated her panties and tried to show them to me.
Father, laughing loudly at glaring people: Sorry.
Arlington National Cemetary
Arlington, Virginia
Boy Scout dad, after walking through exhibit: So was he some sort of poet?
Woman: Uh, yeah… He was kind of a big deal.
Boy Scout dad: Did he write limericks?
Allen Ginsberg Exhibit
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Afrocurl
Dad: Okay kids, here's a penny for each of you! Throw it in the fountain and make a wish! Mark*, what did you wish for?
Mark*: A cupcake!
Dad: Okay! Joe*, what did you wish for?
Joe*: A garbage can!
Zoo
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
