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Girl: My friends are always saying I need to make a Facebook page and I'm like, “Why? I talk to you a-holes enough already!”

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/416332366/so-you-can-send-me-gifts-you-spent-a-dollar-on.html

Overheard by: sleeping on the job

Professor: The best time to study geography is in the morning after you've done the “walk of shame.” It will help you to keep your mind off of what you've done.” (cracks up) That's good shit.

Geography Classroom
Michigan State

Since Apparently Assholism No Longer Qualifies

Guy to another: I don't know what to tell you… If she won't break up with you because you invited her to have a threesome, then tell her that you have some disability… (mumbles) …like, what's that form of autism called? “Asperger syndrome”?

Bar
Austin, Texas

Teenage girl to friend: And then he stuck his finger up my butt, and said “Oh, yeah, do you like that, babe?”
Friend: See, there you go. If you don't sit a guy down and tell him not to go up your butt, he will. Look at you, you're butt-fingered.

Subway Store
Maitland
Australia

Girl: I was having a bad day, so he put me in some predicament bondage to try to cheer me up.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: fetishgirl

Girl on cell: His thing…it was like a big lamb sandwich!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/07/we-call-it-beastilicious.html

Overheard by: aaron

Brunette: I wish I could speak those sweet African languages.
Blonde: What sweet African languages?
Brunette: Ya know, the ones where they cluck at each other. Cluck cluck clickity clack cluck.
Blonde: Yeah! I know what you mean. Clack clack cluck cluck click cluck clacky clack. (laughs)
Brunette, laughing: I bet they just make stuff up!
Blonde: Yeah, dude! Clack clack clickity clacky clack clack cluck! AKA, wanna go get some cow…meat?
Brunette, laughing: You're retarded. I don't think anyone in Africa says shit like that.

Michigan

Administrator (mumbling to herself): Maybe I should just fire everyone here. (opens a drawer) Oh, here's my spoon. Okay, maybe everyone can keep their jobs.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/431193022/its-my-special-spoon.html

Overheard by: spoon.

Ghetto lady on cell: Where you at? (pause) Yeah, you better be at work and not out fucking around on me. (pause) You know damn well what the fuck I am talking about, motherfucker! (pause) Bitch, I am making tacos so I gotta get some fucking sour cream. (pause) I said I am making fucking tacos. (pause) Alright, I love you too.

Sun Fresh
Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: WesAli

Dumb blonde: Like that time we were at that party, and everyone was naked, and it was a surprise party!

State College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: I bet it was a surprise, all right…