Seminary student: I always wanted to just write down a series of numbers and letters on the birth certificate, and then later tell my kid they were a robot. It’d be awesome because you’d have the real, original birth certificate to prove it — to prove that they were a robot…
Princeton, New Jersey
http://pomomusings.com/
Student: I thought about it this morning and like… Who would I text if I fucked my landlord?
Oter student: Me.
Concordia University Canada
Overheard by: jebajeba
Male student #1: Fuck cat videos. I don't judge cat videos, I judge the people who watch them.
Male student #2: Yo, fuck your mother.
Concordia University
Canadia
Overheard by: Jeba
Hobo: ‘Scuse me, yo, can you tell me where the psychological bathroom is?
Bookstore
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: bookseller
Pouting newlywed wife: I feel like we don't spend enough time together.
Seething newlywed husband: (grinds teeth)
Pouting newlywed wife: Enough quality time.
Seething newlywed husband: (remains silent)
Pouting newlywed wife: Would you like me to tell you what quality time is?
Seething newlywed husband: (about to speak, thinks better of it)
Pouting newlywed wife: 23 hours a day.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/465741992/one-hour-is-plenty-of-time-for-a-lot-of-drugs.html
Overheard by: good, that leaves one hour for him to think of a response
(five-year-old girl tries to hit puppy with a toy)
Step-mom: I’m gonna hit you with that toy.
Five-year-old girl: How hard?
Fresno, California
Referee: The puck is loose! It's loose it's loose!
Player on the bench, muffled: Your mom is loose!
Referee: I heard that.
Hockey Rink
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: penguins
Frat boy #1, shouting: Man, I would never date a girl who looks like my sister.
Frat boy #2, also shouting: But that's all you date.
Frat boy #1, in lower voice: I know, but I gotta stop.
Igloofest
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: Mimi
Obese middle-aged tourist to husband: I called him and told him we're at passenger pick-up 2. He called and asked where we'd be, and I said passenger pick-up 2, that's where he can find us. It's just easier to find us when he gets here. Passenger pick-up 2. And it's cold. That's why I brought this vest. I brought this vest in case it got cold, and it got cold. I'm going to button it up. Did you hear me? I'm going to button it up. There, it's buttoned. (husband ignores her)
Newark Airport, New Jersey
Overheard by: EthanK
Classics professor: By the way, when I say that they sent Crassus' head to the king, the rest of him didn't go along. So that means he was dead.
Memorial University
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
