Professionally dressed Asian girl (in a low voice): I can’t believe you showed that girl your pubes, man!
Short, pudgy Asian guy (in a low indignant voice): Well *I* can’t believe you showed her your innie nipple!
Elevator, Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
Hipster chick: I am who I am and that’s what I like about me, but it keeps getting me into these shitty situations.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
American construction worker: See, you escaped communism. All I ever did was join the disco demolition night at Comisky park.
Polish construction worker: I didn’t escape communism, I got kicked out. Big difference.
Chicago, Illinois
Preppy blonde on cell: She said she could see herself spending the rest of her life with him, so I told her: “wow, you really need to break up with him.” And she did!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Disgruntled freshman girl #1: Ugh, I hate that guy. He is like, you know, so… Ugh!
Disgruntled freshman girl #2: I know, right?
Rude sophomore guy, interrupting: Oh, me and him? We're like porn buddies!
(awkward silence from girls)
Rude sophomore guy: What? That was like, before.
Cainta
Rizal
Philippines
Overheard by: happened to be eating lunch
Hottie: Here ya go — put this in your man-purse for me, please.
Indie boyfriend, indignantly: It’s not a man-purse! It’s a medical evac bag!
Hottie: Okay. You got any bandages or sterile alcohol in there?
Indie boyfriend: … No.
Hottie: Yeah, right — it’s a man-purse. [Guy sullenly puts item in bag.]
Target, Saint Matthews
Louisville, Kentucky
Male bar patron #1: Matt's just too much, man.
Male bar patron #2: I can't take that much manhood.
(awkward pause)
Male bar patron #3: I'm sore.
The Sevens
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bar Patron
