Middle aged woman: I want him to think of me as the kind of friend who shakes your hand, not the friend you jump into bed with.
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Middle aged woman: I want him to think of me as the kind of friend who shakes your hand, not the friend you jump into bed with.
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Archaeology professor: That's a lot of work just for one hoe!
New Haven, Connecticut
Waitress: I told her, “my body is a temple, I'm just puttin' up wallpaper.”
Badin Lake, North Carolina
Girl outside changing room: How are those other pants working for you, Jen?
Girl in changing room, frustrated: I feel like the devil himself crafted them to make a mockery of my ass.
Mall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: almost broke a rib trying not to laugh
30-something to friend: After that, it was no use to him. Well…not as a leg, anyway.
Bus
England
Overheard by: Jeff Alderman
Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, “breasto change-o, I just took your boobs.”
Long Branch, New Jersey
Man on cell: I don’t feel I owe you anything! … But I didn’t even use your service. I found a girlfriend on my own!
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Steve E
Hipster to buddies: Look, all I'm saying is, that fish made me feel so special.
Stumptown Coffee
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Addison
Teen girl: So, like, did Adam and Eve have children?
Columbia, Tennessee
Soldier #1: What day is it?
Soldier #2: Does it matter?
Soldier #1: No, I guess not.
Afghanistan
