Professor talking about the Canterbury tales: So the friar has this gold pin he wears, he wears it under his neck to keep his hood closed . . . It's bling!
(class laughs)
Professor: I never want to hear anyone say I'm not up on the times. They had this article in Time magazine, it was an interview with a rapper, the guy's name was “fifty cents.”
(class laughs)
Professor: But I'm cool, and I know that it's not “fifty cents,” it's “fiddy.”
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Middle-aged woman: My wedding ring from my first marriage has new meaning now.
Friend: What's that?
Middle-aged woman: When I lost all that weight and it didn't fit anymore, I took it as a sign to divorce the bastard and marry Jesus Christ.
Friend: Why don't you just wear it on your toe instead?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/455563429/that-doesnt-have-the-same-effect.html
Overheard by: good lord.
Rednecks in pickup truck, driving past bus stop: Hey, pretty girl! Want a ride?
(pretty girl waiting for bus shakes her head, truck moves on)
Pretty girl, to male companion: So, is everyone here just really friendly, or what?
Male companion: No, they're creepy. Don't talk to them.
Highlandtown, Baltimore
Overheard by: tourist
Tattooed guy: I once tried to smoke Aloe vera.
Taste of India
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Schoolboy #1: I hear there's this law in America where if you're a guy you can marry your brother.
Schoolboy #2: That's wrong.
Schoolboy #1: Even if you're a dude!
Adelaide
Australia
Overweight old man looking for a treadmill, after welp: Guess I'll park my ass next to you. You look just about as out of shape as I am.
Fat teen: Heh…
LA Fitness
Fort Worth, Texas
Chick #1: I worry that I'll become boring.
Chick #2: I think I'm more in danger of that than you.
Chick #1: What? You edit books about transvestite love!
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
Man wearing cargo pants, on day before Easter: So what's this foolishness about you guys being closed tomorrow?
YMCA staff member: Apparently, we're celebrating Easter.
Man wearing cargo pants: But you guys are pagan!
Naperville, Illinois
Overheard by: Lauren
Delta flight attendant, upon arrival, to deplaning passengers: Last one out's a rotten egg!
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Doug Harris
Guy to girlfriend: Okay! I promise I won’t talk about the smell of your vagina ever again.
Boston, Massachusetts
