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Flight attendant: Please refrain from smoking for the rest of your life.

Flight over Denver, Colorado

30-something girl: Hi, James!
20-something guy: Where do I know you from?
30-something girl: Remember we met on that bench?
20-something guy: Oh, yeah! You're that really cool old person!

University of Washington, Seattle

Adorable four-year-old girl: I saw Joe Biden's house today!
Dad to friend: Yeah, I told her that because I couldn't bear telling her that Dick Cheney lived there…

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/

Old man to another, looking at soup: I just feel like I'm getting ripped off by the French!

Grocery Store
Maryland

Overheard by: Nic

Fat guy: (moans)
Woman: You alright?
Fat guy: I just feel…
Woman: Yeah?
Fat guy: I feel fat this morning.
Woman: Well, you shoulda eaten something. You should eat more!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/358900004/youre-not-helping-2.html

Overheard by: orly.

Woman, urinating and talking to friend in next stall: I was holding my piss in for so long, my Kegel muscles could choke a chicken!

Memorial Hall
Monson, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Hot girl in line #1: Oh my god, I was so bad today! I had two whole scoops of ice cream for lunch.
Hot girl in line #2: You better watch it or you're not going to be able to fit into that cocktail dress you're buying.
Fat woman behind them: I fucking hate skinny people!

Department Store
Stockton, California

Boyfriend looking at stone sculpture of camel: Yo, what do camels eat?
Girlfriend: Camels eat people.
Boyfriend: I think they eat grass.
Girlfriend: No. Camels eat people.
Boyfriend, turning to passersby: Excuse me, what do camels eat?
Passerby #1: Uhh…I think they eat plants.
Girlfriend: No! Camels eat people!
Passerby #2: But, look, they don't have any claws or fangs. They can't eat people.
Passerby #1, disgusted: They eat plants.
Girlfriend, scoffing: There's no plants in the desert! That's why they eat people. Camels eat people!

Royal Ontario Museum
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Camels should eat some people…

Guy, to very drunk woman carrying enormous inflatable penis: Nice dick!
Drunk woman: You're the one with the complex!

Glasgow
Scotland

Grandma: She doesn't need those…she's getting too big for baby clothes.
Mom: I know, but I don't want her to be too big for baby clothes! I just want her to stay little and not start talking…or moving.

Shop
Buffalo, New York