Brunette hipster: Who’s Mario Batali?
Blonde hipster: You know, that red-haired chef that looks like he’d smell like ass.
Brunette hipster: Oh, okay. Yeah. Totally.
Toi
Los Angeles, California
Brunette hipster: Who’s Mario Batali?
Blonde hipster: You know, that red-haired chef that looks like he’d smell like ass.
Brunette hipster: Oh, okay. Yeah. Totally.
Toi
Los Angeles, California
College girl: I may have made the best porn movie ever, but I’m not going to show it to my mom.
Lincoln Park, Illinois
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn’t even see Derek Jeter’s ass! … Or anyone’s ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Teen: And when I woke up, everything in my purse was covered by a condom.
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: At least it was protected
Guy #1: I spent some time in Okinawa with the army.
Guy #2: Oh, I think my brother lives in Okinawa!
Guy #1: Where in Okinawa?
Guy #2: Tulsa.
dcist.com
Anatomy professor: There's a little bit of failure in everyone.
Western Illinois University
Overheard by: Pixie
Customer, bursting through door: Is there a gentleman here named “male libido?”
Bartender: Yep!
Prescott, Arizona
Overheard by: The Colinator
Girl on cell: You mean you need at least thirty minutes? It's only supposed to last ten minutes, that's why it's called a quickie!
UC Irvine
Irvine, California
Professor: Don't get lazy, because there's still a lot of time for things to go south… and not in the good way.
(class is silent for a second, then laughs)
Professor: Oh, come on! I meant like if you were going to go to LA or something… Oh, nevermind.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Saxophone-playing dude: [About Huck Finn] You really think some ten-year-old white boy is gonna be running around with a crazy black man like “Woo hoo! Everything’s cool!”? No way, man, they woulda ate him!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
