Underage girl: I don't close my legs. (more defiantly) I won't.
Norman Regional Hospital
Norman, Oklahoma
Underage girl: I don't close my legs. (more defiantly) I won't.
Norman Regional Hospital
Norman, Oklahoma
Possible transvestite: And I said, “Either you take a lie detector test at the American consulate or I'm packing my things and going!”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Middle-aged matronly looking woman: Well, while we’re here I can get some of this stocking stuffer shit.
Walgreens
Chicago, Illinois
Guy: You know what’s actually really good? Cocoa Puffs and bacon!
Chick: (blank stare)
Guy: Once I had them both and I ate one bite of Cocoa Puffs and one bite of bacon and they mixed in my mouth and it was good!
Chick: You make me want to vomit.
Harris Teeter
Bristow, Virginia
Conductor: Welcome aboard the “yes we can” train!
Washington, DC
Group of little girls to window poster: Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!
Exasperated father: Don’t kiss that!
Mall
San Diego, California
Little girl: Tomorrow will be so much funner!
Friend: “Funner” isn't a word, dummy!
Little girl: Yes it is! Funner is a word because I say so!
Friend: Why is it a word because you say so?
Little girl: Cause I'm god!
King of Prussia, Pennsyvania
Sorority girl, crying: I’ve been working so hard, and I don’t feel like I’m being rewarded for it.
Professor: What? What do you mean?
Sorority girl, still crying: I mean, if I work so hard, I’ll just die if I don’t get an A.
Professor, irritated: Well, it’s only four weeks into the semester. Why are you worried about your grade now? I don’t guarantee any grades! [Professor leaves.]Sorority girl, to friend: Damn. I should have saved the tears until at least midterm. Now I’ll actually have to do the work. Damn.
University of Nevada, Las Vegas
Nevada
Anthropology teacher: That's just like saying the point of sex is to have an orgasm. If that were the case you could do it yourself! There's no need to involve another person!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Terrance Williams
Dude: Oooh, they’re so warm. I like to put it to my ear after they get out.
Chick: Yeah… It smells like carrots.
Dude, scoffing: I don’t know what kind of carrots you’ve been eating!
Chick: The kind that smell like paper.
1401 University Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona
