Man on phone: So I took my dick out of her ass and started smoking a cigarette… What else was I supposed to do?
Subway
New York City, New York
Student named Lili: Hi, I'm…
Teacher, interrupting: Oh, that's right! I remember your name because lilies are white and so is your face!
Perth
Australia
Mom to four-year-old's horrified babysitter: Poop is not play-doh. That's the lesson we learned today.
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Blonde girl #1: I really want those silver shoes from Moochi Lane. You know, those pointy ones? Even though they look a little weird.
Blonde girl #2: They look like crazy tuxedo man shoes. You know? Like those shoes that Mr Peanut wears…crazy tuxedo man shoes.
Blonde girl #1: Oh my god, they totally do!
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: Felicity
College girl: If anyone ever tried to tell me not to pee outside, I'd take it straight to the Supreme Court! I mean, I'm not gonna pee in someone's face or on a baby or anything, but if I wanna pee in a dumpster, then I will! (pause) Rosie O'Donnell would be with me on this. I don't know why, but she would.
East Lansing
Michigan
Overheard by: Everyone should have a cause…
Mom, doing mock interview of five-year-old for their journal: Okay, who is your least favorite person?
Five-year-old: Saddam Hussein, and the girl at school with the bent chin.
Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
Indian professor with thick accent: Okay class. If I flip this coin 50 times, what is the probability that I get head?
Dude in the back: Man, I could flip a coin 100 times and I'm still not gettin' head.
(class bursts into hysterical laughter)
Indian professor: What? What did I say?
Statistics Class, George Washington University
Washington, DC
Little boy, excitedly: Everybody's dying these days!
Hooksett, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Evee
"if you call his penis prince haraldo, I swear I will cut you."
Idk
Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their bagel in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom, without looking up: It's a donut.
Guy coming into classroom: Somebody left their donut in the water fountain.
Girl in classroom: It's still wrapped, if anyone wants it.
Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
