Blonde: So, he calls me drunk at two o’clock in the morning and tells me our relationship has barnacles.
Brunette: What?!
Blonde: He compared our relationship to ship that has barnacles on it!
Brunette: Um…
Blonde: So now I’m like, ‘Should I read into this?’
Psych building, Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Goateed gentleman: I tried to teach her that certain words for things were different, like that toothpaste was actually “poop,” but I think I waited until she was a bit too old.
Mars Volta Concert, Rams Head Live
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Greeg
Stoned girl with drink in one hand and cigarette in the other: I’m a fucking Christian, so I know you’re wrong!
Northern Ireland
50-something woman #1: I think he has that Marco Polo thing.
50-something woman #2: What?
50-something woman #1: You know, when someone is like, really depressed one minute then really happy the next.
50-something woman #2: Do you mean bipolar disorder?
50-something woman #1: Yeah that's the one.
Liverpool
England
Girl (looking at her graded essay): My professor said, “good use of comma.” What on earth does that mean?
Guy: I don't know… We do go to Suffolk. Maybe he was just impressed that you knew how to use a comma correctly.
Suffolk University
Boston, Massachusetts
Guest lecturer: My pants are animate, socks are inanimate.
Linguistics professor: Did you just say your pants are animate?
Guest lecturer: Yes, if it's near your genitals it's animate.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Breanne
Instructor: Jake*, you are a hazard to the bus driver. He can't see out the back window.
Jake: Why?
Instructor: You're standing. Sit down.
Jake: I'm not standing.
Instructor: You're standing spiritually.
School Bus
Boiceville, New York
Bespectacled, be-hatted, be-flanneled guy to friend: It’s like Seattle without the heroin, New York without the coke. All bets are off. People are drunk 24/7.
Channing and Ellsworth
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Kaitlen, who wishes she knew where they were talking about
Pilot on PA: Folks, we're going to be dimming the lights in the cabin, so if you're creeped out by your neighbor, just hit the button above your head with the light bulb on it.
Southwest Flight over Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Overheard by: and I was, too
