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Sex and Violence professor, at the end of the semester: You are sexy, you are violent. It's been an honor.

Pomona College
Claremont, California

Overheard by: Mell

Guy: It's all just an elaborate excuse to teabag someone!

Sandy Springs, Georgia

Faculty master: You know, our building won the sportsmanship award this year. It wasn't thanks to me, though. Some kid kicked a ball out of bounds, and I yelled “you play soccer like a freshman that's never had sex!”

Faculty Master Dinner
USC, California

Guy: Nothing, nothing turns me on more than Jurassic Park-themed role play.

Queen's University
Kingston, Canadia

Overheard by: Kat

Anatomy professor, turning up lights: Wake up, it's the male reproductive system! How many times have you heard that before? (class laughter) Hopefully not many times before.

UNC
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Girl to friend: They have vaginas in here!

Applebee's
Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: Sarah

Teen girl to friend: Oh! I finally figured out whose pants I'm wearing.

Brantford
Ontario
Canadia

Chick on cell: Did I tell you I sent my dominatrix pilot to my father and he writes back, “so how did you do the research? It's all very accurate.”

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Amerigo Vespucci

Hot black chick: I don't know why you're so surprised… It's the same way I'd nail Lucy Liu and alt-world Neil Patrick Harris.
Nerdy friend: Alt-world Neil Patrick Harris?
Hot black chick: You know, where he's straight and really into black chicks.
Nerdy friend: Baffling.

New Haven, Connecticut

Little boy: Mommy, if a turtle has no shell is it naked or homeless?
Mother: It would be dead, sweetheart.
Little boy: That's sad, mommy.
Mother: No, it isn't, dear. Come on, this is our stop.

Metro
Washington, DC