Girl on phone: Oh my god, I seriously didn't think anyone could act like that unless they were on something! (pause) I know! He was slurring his speech, staggering all over the place, and talking about Romeo and Juliet!
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: one of these things is not like the other…
Three-year-old: Pick me up some cigarettes! I need a smoke!
Dad: What did you just say!?
Kansas
Son, yelling from back of bus: Mom, what color is Jewish?
Mother: (sinks lower into her seat, pretends not to hear)
Son, yelling again: Well…is it white? Is it tan?
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Freda
Bus preacher: Prime time bingo is the key to hell.
Kingston
Jamaica
Mom: He'll have chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and gummy bears.
Five-year-old son: But I want the blue ice cream!
Mom: Honey, the blue is cotton candy ice cream. You can't have it…it's pure sugar.
Coldstone Creamery
Carlsbad, California
Overheard by: Amused Employee
American Apparel-wearing teen: I bet if the Jonas Brothers were indie, you'd totally dig them. Like same music, just less known.
Toronto
Canadia
Flight attendant, during speech: There is also an overhead call button, that if you misuse, will eject you from the aircraft.
Flight go Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Hikari
Preppy girl #1, working on chemistry assignment: So, say you have a finite amount of this chemical.
Preppy girl #2: Wait, “finite” means there's no limit.
Preppy girl #1: No, that's “infinite.”
Preppy girl #2: “Finite” and “infinite” are the same thing. “Finite” is the adjective form of “infinite.”
Suzalo Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Scared for America's future
Professor: Someone is going to take their pee and throw it at you. Yes. It is going to happen.
Parkside, Wisconsin
Guy on cell: So I'm just sticking with gonorrhea…that way, no one will ask any questions.
Haight Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Adriana
