The Butterball Turkey Hotline Gets Flooded With Calls During the Holidays

Parking lot attendant on phone: Whenever I try to do that my nipples just get really stretched out.

Chapel Hill
University of North Carolina

Eh, My Sister Does the Same Thing

Biology professor: And don't play frisbee with a beluga whale. They've been known to masturbate with them.

University of Mississippi

Slightly effeminate black man on cell: Uh-uh, child. If you're pregnant, that ain't my child. You got to talk to my brother.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/411942930/he-said-to-talk-to-you.html

Overheard by: Ian

Professor: We know CS Lewis likes myth. We know Lewis loves myth. We know he wants myth's babies.

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Jessica

Little girl: I don't want ice cream, daddy. Know why, daddy? (in a demonic voice) Because it's evil!

Grinnell, Iowa

Overheard by: Jake

Guy #1: Dude, I gotta tell you about this lemon coffee cake.
Guy #2: I said no!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/408802734/sensitive-subject.html

Overheard by: oh geeze.

Mother: Do you want to go poop on mommy's floor, or make in the potty?
Two-year-old: The potty!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: meg

Bookseller to pregnant coworker: Aren't you worried there will be jealousy between the chickens and your unborn child?

Barnes & Noble
Augusta, Maine

Overheard by: Just browsing

Hipster on cell: And then she started talking about trouser gravy…

Mesa College
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Tish

Pretty teenage girl #1: Why do all the geeks like me?
Pretty teenage girl #2: Why do all the alcoholic German boarders like me?

Boca Raton Mall
Florida