Drunk girl: Okay… I had three sausages, I gotta go to bed.
Drunk guy: Three? I had like eight shots earlier!
Drunk girl: No. Not shots, sausages.
Drunk guy: Oh my god! You ate three sausages? Go to bed!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Pukey
Drunk girl: Okay… I had three sausages, I gotta go to bed.
Drunk guy: Three? I had like eight shots earlier!
Drunk girl: No. Not shots, sausages.
Drunk guy: Oh my god! You ate three sausages? Go to bed!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Pukey
Sweet old man: How are ya, girls?
Teen girls: Better if we had some whiskey.
Gold Coast Big Day Out
Australia
Overheard by: yo bitch
Skinny chick with cigarette on bike to friend she just met up with: Hey! Guess how I got here so fast?
Friend: How?
Skinny chick, enthusiastically: I drink a tonic of strychnine and brandy! Every day!
Mt. Pleasant
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Lance Wriststrong
Drunk bus rider #1: Damn, this bus is always so slow!
Drunk bus rider #2: I swear, if I was a wizard, I would turn this bus into a rabbit… But that's fantasy stuff, and I'm not that into fantasy.
Seattle, Washington
Girl drinking outside: It's just, like, I pay rent to live here, I don't want his semen and her little vagina juices everywhere!
Guy drinking outside: I don't think those guys walking by wanted to hear that.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Guy walking by
Stoner girl #1: What happens at Christian retreats?
Stoner girl #2: You pray and reflect.
Stoner girl #1: Oh. So no beer, then?
Stoner girl #2: Definitely no beer.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Drunk college dude, explaining how he got kicked out of a club: They looked at my ID, then they looked at my face. My face was not as sober as my ID.
Metro, Orange Line
Washington, DC
Overheard by: funniest Metro ride ever
Teenage girl #1 in high school bathroom: I'm excited that I'm pregnant, it just sucks that I'll have to give up drinking.
Teenage girl #2: Why? I didn't!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: not surprised
Middle aged man power-walking with friend in the park: I wake up, I drink, and I smoke. Then, I go to work, come home, and drink and then smoke. You wanna know why I do this?
Friend: Why?
Middle aged man: I'm fucking depressed, that's why. So I wake up and do it all over again the next day.
Forest Park
St. Louis, Missouri
Sober sorostitute with heavy smoker's voice: Like o-m-g, I just decided on my Halloween costume!
Drunk sorostitute, stamping feet: Oh my god! What?! What what what?
Sober sorostitute: Wait for it…wait for it… Little ho peep!
Drunk sorostitute: Can we have sex with the little ho sheep?
Duke University
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: Disgusted
