Butch-looking 20-something: I always have Bud Select, and I know it makes me look so butch.
Femme-looking 20-something: No, I don't think Bud Select is butch…I mean, I drink Bud Select.
Butch-looking 20-something: Yeah, but seriously, I know I look like a lesbian, and the Bud Select doesn't help.
Iowa
Overheard by: I assumed they were on a date
Girl #1: So really Edward doesn't like anal?
Girl #2: Yeah, he doesn't even like anal.
Girl #1: Did you just ask him? Or did that just come up?
Girl #2: You know what? I don't even remember…I was drunk. I must've asked.
Petco Park
San Diego, California
Girl to friend: I scissored at my bachelorette party.
Financial District
San Francisco, California
Hipster girl to friend: Yeah, we were going to go to a bar last night, but, you know, Beth has awkward ears.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Normal Ears?
Drunk episcopal priest in wine cellar: Yes! Yes! Science fiction is like religion, only backwards!
Penn Yan, New York
Overheard by: Liz
Math professor: Coming home drunk at 3 am and grading calculus papers is a great way to learn calculus.
Southern Methodist University
Dallas, Texas
Girl sucking down Smirnoff Ice: The longer I look at my engagement ring, the smaller the diamond gets…
Berklee Performing Arts Center
Boston, Massachusetts
Nurse #1: How was your weekend?
Nurse #2: It was great, except Heather* got kind of wild. I mean I've never seen anyone be…first drink they're fine, second drink they're fine, third drink they're naked and pole dancing.
Nurse #1, shaking head: Wow.
Nurse #2: Yeah, it was probably a mistake to go drinking at the bar she used to work at.
Heather*: I don't remember any of it, but when I got home my bra was filled with twenties.
Albany General Hospital
Albany, Oregon
Professor to 20-something assistants, about sighting them at a bar: So, I thought I saw you the other night, but I wasn't sure because I thought that all you do is type.
UC Merced
Merced, California
Overheard by: Seriously?
Four-year-old boy, excitedly, as he and his family are being seated: Beer! Beer! Dad, they have beer here!
El Metate Mexican Restaurant
Soddy-Daisy, Tennessee
Overheard by: Mrs. H.
