Hungover guy: Yeah man, so it was all good until I got so drunk that I pissed in my oven.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/289732218/youre-fine-if-its-self-cleaning.html
Overheard by: hah!
Hungover guy: Yeah man, so it was all good until I got so drunk that I pissed in my oven.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/289732218/youre-fine-if-its-self-cleaning.html
Overheard by: hah!
Drunk guy #1: Yo, what are you doing?
Drunk guy #2: I don’t remember.
Drunk guy #1: Those are the best nights, bro.
University of New Haven
West Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: through the window
Drunk blonde: Do you think deer get bored? I mean, all they do is go into the wilderness and play. It’s not like they can go home and say, ‘Hey, Mom deer. Hey, Dad deer! What’s for dinner?’ I would hate to be an animal.
Driver: We are animals! And humans get bored.
Drunk blonde: Yeah, but when we get bored, we can drink and play beer pong.
Driver: How do you know deers don’t play beer pong?
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: BTAN
Jersey Shore fan: Can you put on Jersey Shore? It's the reunion!
Bartender: Sure, I was kind of hoping someone would ask.
Female drinker: Wow, I am going to watch this dumbass show in a bar, is this happening?
Jersey Shore fan: You love it, don't try to lie cause your boys are here.
Bartender: These people are crazy, and that's why we watch.
Bar patron: I cant believe I am watching the reunion show without having seen a full episode. You are right: I cant stop watching this. What the fuck? Is her name J-Lo?
Jersey Shore fan: J… Wow! She is awesome, snookie is my favorite. I wish I could be friends with her.
Bartender: You have enough slutty friends.
Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Earnie Hustleton
Drunk girl: Guess whose shirt I'm wearing!
Sober friend: Whose?
Drunk girl, without missing a beat: What?
(15 minutes later)
Drunk girl: I'm not even wearing a shirt!
Dorm Room
Wisconsin
Drunk coed: Is it possible to drown in a pool when you are drunk? I mean, with all that alcohol wouldn’t you just float to the top?
Friend #1: Um, duh — yeah, you can drown.
Friend #2: You’re probably going to drown.
Frat party
Dallas, Texas
Drunk girl to another: I am going to suck it so good he is going to pay back all my loans!
Bar, Capital Hill
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Katie
Drunk wife, for the seventh time in 10 minutes: I can’t believe someone stole my sweater!
Drunk friend: I had a sweater once…
Drunk husband: Was it a man sweater?!
Drunk wife: Oh my god, I can’t find my phone!
Drunk husband: Maybe it’s with your sweater.
Drunk wife: I don’t know… But I got lots of soap!
Wedding
Melbourne, Florida
Loud, stoned, drunk guy on train: Dude, I totally saw Melissa pee standing up before.
Loud, stoned, drunk girl: That is impossible! Seriously, that doesn't even make any sense! You'd get piss all over your leg!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy: No way, I saw her just take one leg out of her pants and prop it up against a tree, and it just shot down! She didn't get any anywhere!
Loud, stoned, drunk girl: Do you even understand female anatomy?! It doesn't work the same way as you! We can't do that! Melissa didn't do that!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy: Dude, if you can't pee standing up, then you've just got a bendy vag.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Wizzbiff
