3rd grade girl, about essay: I am writing about taking a vacation to heaven!
Teacher: Okay, but why don't you pick a place you can actually go on vacation? You can't really just visit heaven.
3rd grade boy: Yes you can! I went to heaven once to visit my aunt!
Auburn, Alabama
Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don't donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You'll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you'll get paler and paler… and keel over and die. Homie can't fly that. Homie can't.
Math Classroom
Hawaii
Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.
Catholic University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ditto.
Girl: So then she told me her sister decided to major in geography. I had to pull over to the side of the road because I was laughing so hard.
Massachusetts
Overheard by: English Major
Professor: So, how was survey of western music?
Girl: It was terrible: someone would always find a way to bring up gender issues. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn’t give a shit about your vagina.
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
Girl on cell: My life totally sucks right now. I went to an intellectual conference and people were saying smart things and I was asking myself, ‘Why can?t I say things like that?!’ And I?ve forgotten all essay-writing skills I learned in high school! Ugh, I am, like, totally ESL right now. Like, what am I doing with my life?! I’m not getting into law school, I’m not going to get a position at the UN… Ugh! I might as well get married to a rich Arabian prince!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/06/11/who-will-then-promptly-have-me-executed-for-tarnishing-the-uns-reputation-by-instigating-the-oil-for-weed-program-3/
Overheard by:
Teacher, explaining sign up sheet: So, where it says “What are your plans?” You need to just put something like “Doctor,” “lawyer,” etc.
Blonde in back, whispering to girl next to her: Girl, I'm putting down “stripper,” then all of my classes will be in the humanities building!
College Orientation
Washington State Community College
Math teacher: Use the ratio test if you can expect to cancel out many many factors, like a happy schizophrenic child flailing his factor-canceling-crowbar.
Philippines
Art professor: Say goodbye to sex and violence and hello to boring allegories.
KSU
Manhattan, Kansas
