It's All Fun and Games 'til Somebody Pokes a Baby Out

Loud eighth grader: Michael's such a douche, all he wants to do is get in my pants.
Even louder teacher: You're in eighth grade, you shouldn't be letting anybody in your pants!

Potomac, Maryland

Overheard by: Math is my new favorite subject…

Posted on March 8, 2022
Advice, Clothes, Education, Insults, Maryland, Sex, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Wishes

If Your Eyes Are Closed, I Assume You’re Imagining Another Professor

Professor: I try to say the word “sex” at least two or three times a class to wake people up.

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Posted on March 5, 2022
Education, Overheard at UMBC, Sensory experiences, Sexuality, Teachers, Words

It Concerns Me When You Talk About Yourself in the Third Person, Mrs. Smith

Old teacher, about middle school student: Johnny’s fine until he has an audience. Then he gets all gang-bangy and tries to screw Mrs. Smith.
Young teacher: Please don’t ever say that again.

Restaurant
Redlands, California

Posted on March 3, 2022
Assholes, California, Compare and contrast, Education, Etiquette, Gossip, Grumpies, Guys, Restaurants, Sexuality, Teachers

Let's Stick to First Abortions, Okay?

Professor: I want you to write about the first time you did something. It can be anything. The first time you rode a bike. The first time you made a baby. (awkward pause) Wait!

Syracuse University
New York

Posted on February 28, 2022
Class, Default, Education, New York, Offers and requests, Sex, Teachers

Yeah, Technically ‘Martians’ and ‘Venusians’

Guy in sociology class: So male and female… Are those races?

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: doug

Posted on February 23, 2022
Class, Education, Gender issues, Guys, Overheard at Cornell, Questions, Race, Students, Stupidity

Most Emmy Winners Would've Preferred That Too

Moody college girl on phone: No, I have to go the macro class right now and pretend to be a Republican. If you don't agree with the professor, you're wrong.
(pause)
Moody college girl: Yeah, if I can pull this off I deserve an Emmy, or an Oscar. Hell, I'll take a cookie!

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on February 19, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Food, Girls, Gripes, Grumpies, Massachusetts, Politics

…Because Most Of You Got That Wrong on the Midterm.

US History professor, angrily: I don't put up stuff on the overhead for me to masturbate to! I do that at home. Pay attention!

Georgia State University

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on February 18, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Education, Georgia, Masturbation, Teachers

His Parents Say That About Any Place That's Not Alabama

3rd grade girl, about essay: I am writing about taking a vacation to heaven!
Teacher: Okay, but why don't you pick a place you can actually go on vacation? You can't really just visit heaven.
3rd grade boy: Yes you can! I went to heaven once to visit my aunt!

Auburn, Alabama

Posted on January 31, 2022
Alabama, Default, Education, Family ties, Girls, Kids, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers

Homie Also Has a Hard Time on Armed Forces Career Day

Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don't donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You'll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you'll get paler and paler… and keel over and die. Homie can't fly that. Homie can't.

Math Classroom
Hawaii

Posted on January 28, 2022
Body parts, Death & dying, Education, Hawaii, Health & Hygiene, Students, Teachers, Whiteys

Also, “Boner”

Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.

Catholic University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Ditto.

Posted on January 25, 2022
Bathing, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Education, Teachers, Washington, DC, Words

Education