It's Kind Of Required in San Jose

Slacker student boy, after teacher has announced half the class will have to take summer school: Yeah! Summer school!
Serious student girl: What's so great about summer school?
Slacker student boy: You get to get out earlier and you can do all sorts of shit without getting in trouble.
(serious student girl rolls eyes and shakes head)
Slacker student boy: Why don't you like summer school?
Serious student girl: I don't find the idea of waking up early through the summer appealing.
Slacker student boy: Have you ever had summer school?
Serious student girl: No, and I don't plan on doing so.
Slacker student boy: Don't be so sure of that, because one day you're going to start doing drugs.

San Jose, California

Overheard by: inoursecrets

Posted on August 12, 2009
California, Drugs, Education, Questions, Students, Time Management

You Monster!

Student: Is there anything I can do to make this grade better?
Teacher: Uh, do better work.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on August 10, 2009
Education, Massachusetts, Questions, Students, Teachers

Not Even a Semi? You Disappoint Me.

Professor: Here's a good thing to compare to the turgor pressure in a plant cell: have any of you seen an erection?

University of Illinois at Chicago

Overheard by: suddenly paying attention

Posted on August 6, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Erections, Illinois, Questions, Science, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Now Everyone Brace Yourselves While I Release the Bee

Teacher: If there's a bee flying around the classroom, I don't want you to freak out. But, if you get stung by a bee, I want you to jump up, scream, run for the door, run into the door because you didn't open it, scream again, and run out. If you're going to disturb the class, we might as well get a laugh out of it.

Bristol, Vermont

Overheard by: Misaki

Posted on August 5, 2009
Class, Education, Insects, Students, Teachers, Vermont, Weirdness, Wishes

Or Don't Be the Idiot Who Schedules Things Before Noon

Professor, at 8 am: If coffee doesn't work, drink RedBull. But if that doesn't work, I suggest amphetamines or heroin.

Class, SUNY
Purchase, New York

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on August 4, 2009
Advice, Class, Drugs, Education, Food, New York, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Verne Troyer Has Forever Ruined That Role

Teacher: Oh my god, I love you, Erica! You're like a little me!
Student: Ew!

Middle School
Virginia

Overheard by: Eh, there are worse things

Posted on July 30, 2009
Bringing it back to you, Education, Feelings, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Virginia, Weirdness

They Have No Idea What's Going on

Economics graduate to friend, looking around sadly at subdued crowd: We should go to the poli sci graduation later. I heard it's riotous.

UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Another Economics Graduate

Posted on July 29, 2009
California, Colleges & Universities, Education, Friends, Offers and requests, Science, Students, Words

Religious Freedom's Expensive

Teacher: Why did the Pilgrims come to America?
Student: Because they wanted to dig for gold!
(later)
Teacher: Why did the Puritans come to America?
Student: Oh! I know this one! They're the ones that wanted to dig for gold!

East Greenbush, New York

Posted on July 18, 2009
Education, History, New York, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Wishes

Some People's Dirty Talk Should Be Confined to the Bedroom

Girl on cell: I have midterms! I don't have time to go to the fat lady with the lollipop! (pause) Buh-bye.

Roosevelt University
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: morgz

Posted on July 13, 2009
Candy, Education, Girls, Illinois, On the phone, Time Management, Weirdness

Woody Allen Was a Tedious Child

Teacher to four-year-old boy: How do you like your teacher?
Four-year-old boy, frustrated: I don't. She's always yelling at me.
Teacher: Well, it will be okay. At least you'll be going home soon.
Four-year-old boy, throwing hands in the air: No, it won't! It's never going to end!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on July 12, 2009
Education, Indiana, Kids, Students, Teachers

Education