Stay Far Away from the Octomom, Dear Reader

Girl to friend: Then she sends him an e-mail saying that she wants his baby inside her. Talk about mixed messages.

Fred's Diner
Akron, Ohio

Overheard by: Adam

Posted on April 10, 2009
Default, E-mail, Family ties, Girls, Ohio, Restaurants, Weirdness

Yada Yada Yada, See You at 5 A.M. Saturday

Professor: I know, I know. Worst exam period ever. You don't want to be there. I don't want to be there. I'm not sure how we got that one…maybe the dean has a daughter and I was drinking and I said something. I don't know.

Dalhousie University
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Posted on April 7, 2009
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Education, Family ties, Teachers, Weirdness

By Paying That Guy on the Internet for It

Blonde Vanderbilt freshman: It literally was, like, the best essay I've ever written. I mean, it was awesome. My mom helped me a lot.

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on April 4, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Family ties, Guys, Students, Tennessee

Then I'd Punch Her in the Face

Guy to friend: If I walked in on you making out with my little sister I would punch you in the face! But then I would be like, “Eh…she could do worse.”

Amherst, Massachusetts

Posted on March 28, 2009
Body parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Guys, Massachusetts, Relationships, Threats

Isn't That a Phone?

Dude: Man, that guy is your exact twin! He's like your doppleberry or something!

Inaugural Concert
Washington, DC

Overheard by: DingleGanger

Posted on March 25, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Guys, Washington, DC, Words

Then I Watched the Wheels in His Mind Go Round and Round

Woman to friend: He told me last night he had a baby girl named Traley. I asked him if that was short for trailer park.

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on March 21, 2009
Default, Family ties, Names, Questions, Tennessee, Women

Like All Parents, We Were Hoping for a Little Lesbian

Seven-year-old-daughter: I'm sorry, daddy, but I love crafts!
Father: I know…can't you find another hobby?
Seven-year-old-daughter: No, daddy, it's going to be just like at camp!
Father: Yeah, your mother and I should have switched you at the hospital.

Michael's
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Diana

Posted on March 19, 2009
Dads, Default, Family ties, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Kids, New Jersey, Questions

…And Light Green.

Dad: There are some things you can't discuss with girls. Like I would never tell your mom about the really weird-colored shit I had last night.
Preteen son: What color was it?
Dad: See, that's not the kind of question a girl would ask.

Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Didn't want to hear it either

Posted on March 4, 2009
Dads, Default, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Malls, Poop, Questions, Tweens, Washington

Just-Kidding-napping Is Still Illegal

Marathon runner: Do you suppose that if I grab that kid and take off running, that his parents would pay more attention to him? But then again, what do I do? Drop him off and say “just kidding”?

Pearl Street
Boulder, Colorado

Posted on March 3, 2009
Colorado, Default, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Questions

Meet the Last Old-School Guy in San Francisco

Girl on phone: So she had the baby, and now she's getting married.
Random guy walking by: Strike that, reverse it.

SFSU
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Veruca Salt

Posted on February 25, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Relationships, San Francisco, Words

Family ties