Grande Penis

Teenage girl: That's why I got a coffee this morning, because my mouth tasted like penis.

Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: Cassie and Chloe

Posted on April 7, 2018
Default, Drinking & drunks, Feelings, Girls, Mouth, New Zealand, Penis, Teens

Sometimes Over the Intercom at Work, Just for Fun, But That's It.

Girl in skirt: And so she was just sitting in the stall on her phone when I went in! She was having a normal volume conversation.
Girl in pants: Ewww. What did you do?
Girl in skirt: I mean, I peed. But reluctantly. It's not like I want to broadcast my bodily functions to everyone, you know? (pause) I mean I'm broadcasting them to you right now, but not over the phone.
Girl in pants: Right. Totally.

Rockville Pike, Maryland

Posted on March 23, 2018
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Maryland, Pee

I've Mastered “Fabulous,” But I'm Still Working on Three Snaps in Z-Formation

Construction worker #1: So, Lou, how's that gay thing going for you?
Construction worker #2: Goin' pretty good, Al, goin pretty good.

West Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: keeeeem

Posted on March 22, 2018
Construction workers, Coworkers, Default, Feelings, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sexuality

But They Look Fantastic the Whole Time

Professor: The Swedes. They look at the glaciers, go inside, watch a Bergman film, have a heavy drink, then have some sex in the sauna, but ultimately that is unsatisfying, so they kill themselves.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Posted on March 16, 2018
Class, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Drinking & drunks, Feelings, Geography, Movies, Ohio, Sex, Teachers

A Strategy I Didn’t Quite Think Through

20-ish chick: I can’t believe I faked a pregnancy just to get back at a guy! I’m so psycho!
Friend with baby: Pshhh, that’s nothing — I actually got pregnant!

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on February 8, 2018
Canadia, Comebacks, Default, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Pregnancy

The Sassy New Rap Song by Gloria Steinem

Old redneck to wife: I don't need no damn misogynist. I done tried that, and it didn't help.

Greenville, South Carolina

Posted on January 3, 2018
Character, Couples, Feelings, Insults, Relationships, South Carolina

Then What’s Sap?

Girl: Mister, what’s that?
Teacher: That is an air purifier.
Girl: A what?
Teacher: An air purifier.
Girl: That’s crazy, what yo need an air purifier for?
Teacher: To get the pollen out of the air.
Girl: What’s pollen?
Teacher: Well, when trees have sex, they release pollen into the air.
Girl: You mean I am breathing in tree jizz!? [Shudders in repulsion at the thought.][Whole class laughs.]

High School
Austin, Texas