Girl outside changing room: How are those other pants working for you, Jen?
Girl in changing room, frustrated: I feel like the devil himself crafted them to make a mockery of my ass.
Mall
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: almost broke a rib trying not to laugh
Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, “breasto change-o, I just took your boobs.”
Long Branch, New Jersey
Boy to girl: Do you think a zebra feels like a horse?
Girl to boy, after brief pause: I don't think they really feel like they are horses, I think they know they are different.
Zoo
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Hipster to buddies: Look, all I'm saying is, that fish made me feel so special.
Stumptown Coffee
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Addison
Angry Jersey girl on cell: No, you hung up on me in your manic, crazy way.
Church Tag Sale
New Jersey
Older black man: You love sex! You do! Just admit it!
Young black guy: I won't admit it!
Older black guy: Yes you will! Yes you will!
Fremont Street
Las Vegas, Nevada
Teenage girl: That's why I got a coffee this morning, because my mouth tasted like penis.
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Cassie and Chloe
Girl in skirt: And so she was just sitting in the stall on her phone when I went in! She was having a normal volume conversation.
Girl in pants: Ewww. What did you do?
Girl in skirt: I mean, I peed. But reluctantly. It's not like I want to broadcast my bodily functions to everyone, you know? (pause) I mean I'm broadcasting them to you right now, but not over the phone.
Girl in pants: Right. Totally.
Rockville Pike, Maryland
Construction worker #1: So, Lou, how's that gay thing going for you?
Construction worker #2: Goin' pretty good, Al, goin pretty good.
West Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: keeeeem
Professor: The Swedes. They look at the glaciers, go inside, watch a Bergman film, have a heavy drink, then have some sex in the sauna, but ultimately that is unsatisfying, so they kill themselves.
Oberlin, Ohio
Overheard by: Secret Spy
