It's Not You, It's Us

Southwest Airlines employee: Mr Jones*, only one minute to be at the gate B5. We looove you, but we have to goooo!

Airport
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: Jake Conner

Posted on February 3, 2009
Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Feelings, Florida, Public transportation

Hand Her a Magic Feather and She Can Fly, Though

Hipster girl to friend: Yeah, we were going to go to a bar last night, but, you know, Beth has awkward ears.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Normal Ears?

Posted on February 1, 2009
Body parts, Default, Drinking & drunks, Florida, Girls, Hipsters, Weirdness

…No, Seriously, Check Out This Rash.

Four-year-old boy holding 20-something girl's hand: I've got jungle fever! I've got jungle fever!

Jungle Cruise Line
Walt Disney World, Florida

Posted on January 30, 2009
Default, Florida, Girls, Guys, Kids, Race, Relationships

Probably Underground

Girl #1: No! They separated!
Girl #2: It's okay, they'll end up together eventually.
Girl #1: What? That's like saying “it's okay to be kidnapped, you'll end up with someone eventually!”

Miami, Florida

Posted on January 28, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Girls, Relationships, Words

…I Wrote the Directions to the Bar on the Back

Middle aged woman: What is this?
Middle aged man: Oh. That's just a paper where Jesus explains the universe.
Middle aged woman: Do you need it?
Middle aged man: Yeah.

Sunrise, Florida

Overheard by: that one chick

Posted on January 25, 2009
Default, Florida, Guys, Jesus, Questions, Weirdness, Women

And Be Sure to Return Your Babies to the Full Upright Position Before Landing

Airplane pilot: And just for sanitary reasons, please change your babies diapers in the bathroom, not on the pullout table in front of you, because people might stare.

Airport
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: nicole

Posted on January 22, 2009
Advice, Airports & flights, Default, Florida, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Pilots, Public transportation

Martin Luther King: Facepalm

Boy: Why didn't black people just move back to Africa after slavery ended?
Girl: They didn't have the money to.
Boy: They could have gotten the money if they really wanted.
Girl: They didn't want to move back to Africa! They wanted to stay here, they just wanted equal rights. What's wrong with that?
Boy: I'm just saying that they could have moved back if they wanted rights and stuff.
Girl: That's the most retarded thing I've ever heard. Seriously, just stop talking.
(some time later)
Girl: This is why I hate white people, no offense you guys. I don't hate you personally, just as a race in general. They piss me off.
Boy: That's racist. Wow, this tastes good.

Panera at Fashion Square Mall
Orlando, Florida