Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don't want to go?
Girl: I didn't say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I'm just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.
Quiznos
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene
Left on voice mail: I wanted to talk to you about these cupcakes. They are making me a little nervous. Call me.
Clearwater, Florida
Overheard by: friend of the cupcake king
Black chick: I’m sorry — I don’t have relations with inanimate objects!
Black guy: A rock is not inanimate…
Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Iniego Strangelove
Old lady: I'm not very hungry, I'm gonna have something small.
Old man: If you wanted something small, we would have stayed at home and I would have given you something small.
Lester's Diner
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that's the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!
The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida
Little boy whispering to old lady: Are you my secret friend?
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: sara aliza
Man: My scrotum is so confused!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
20-ish girl: I suppose, but only if I can dress like a whore. That way, I’ll feel comfortable in my surroundings.
Disney World
Florida
Young woman: He was really sweet about the butt sex… If it’s possible to be sweet about butt sex.
Windermere, Florida
Overheard by: I think that’s entirely possible…
TA on cell: No, I do not want to play “guess who's pregnant?” again.
University of Florida
Overheard by: nick
