You're Supposed to Be Taking a Vacation from It

Canadian friend, after night out: I hope I wasn't being too annoying last night.
American friend: You weren't too bad. Until you started going on about the metric system.

French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana

Posted on August 10, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Louisiana, Weirdness, Wishes

Says the Girl Who Was Caught Humping a Rhino?

Girl to two bald eagles: I will mate with you and you will like it. We will have hot eagahuman babies and you will like it!
Friend: Sarah, sometimes I swear you should have stayed in special ed longer.

Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: xhollisterluv1045

Posted on August 8, 2015
Animals, Birthing, Crazies, Education, Friends, Girls, Washington, Weirdness, Wishes

So You Can’t Date Jews or Muslims

Girl #1: Hey, what’s your shoe size?
Girl #2: Six.
Girl #1: I’ve got a pair of shoes that would fit you, if you want them. They smell vaguely of bacon.

Vancouver
British Columbia
Canadia

Posted on August 7, 2015
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Food, Friends, Gifts, Girls, Offers and requests, Sensory experiences, Shoes

When It’s My Turn, You Won’t Have to Be

Girl: Slower, and harder. Down!
Guy: You’re very patient.

http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/2006/03/no-comment.html

Posted on August 6, 2015
Compliments, Friends, Overheard at Stanford

No Wonder Texans Think There's No Energy Crisis

Sweaty girl to friend, watching elliptical machine read 75 rpm: So does this mean I'm going 75 miles per hour?

Gym
Dallas, Texas

Posted on August 6, 2015
Friends, Girls, Questions, Stupidity, Texas

Then I May Have Paid Too Much at the Parts Department

Girl: It’s not like you can wake up and be like ‘Hm. I want to be a girl today,’ and then put on your girl parts!
Guy: Ohhh… It’s not?

Auditorium Shores
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Ellison’s Orange

Posted on August 6, 2015
Friends, Gender issues, Texas

For Example, They Blush When You Cook 'em

Sweaty guy: Lobsters are self-aware, man.
(friend #1 and friend #2 nod in agreement)
Sweaty guy: Yeah, I used to work in this restaurant, and we'd make this lobster soup every day. I'd put one lobster on the counter and one in the boiling water. Dude, as soon as the first lobster hit the water, his buddy would start freaking out. He would put his claws up, like he was pleading for his life.
Friend #1: Yeah, they're smart. My friend's family had a pet lobster. He'd eat with them and everything.
Friend #2: Like on The Simpsons!
Sweaty guy, to himself: Lobsters are self-aware. Crabs, they don't give a shit, but lobsters? They're self-aware.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Karl