[Three intoxicated college girls are walking along the street. One trips, falls, and all three laugh hysterically. An unmarked police van passes by]Cop, yelling out of the window: Looks like three underage drinking tickets right there!
Girl #1: We’re all 21!
Cop: Well, it looks like you’re 4!
Girl #2: Looks like you’re 37 and looking for a boyfriend!
Madison, Wisconsin
Very drunk 20-something in kebab shop: I'll have… a large chips… with ketchup… and mayonnaise. (pause) A quarter pounder cheese and bacon burger with extra cheese and bacon. Two pieces of fried chicken… with chili sauce… and a ten-inch pepperoni pizza.
Sober friend #1: Fucking hell, mate, that's a lot of food…
Sober friend #2: Aren't you supposed to be on a diet?
Kebab shop guy, in heavy Cypriot accent: Yeah! He's on a fucking American diet!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Girl: Okay, what?
Friend: I'm just saying that it's…
Girl: Okay, stop talking if you are going to try and convince me that having sex with strangers is bad!
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Dude to friend: Don’t worry — I have plenty of meals left to buy condoms.
Cafeteria, University of Michigan
Michigan
Boy housemate #1: Ah! I feel so sick, my tummy hurts.
Girl housemate #1: Do you want some soup?
Girl housemate #2: Do you want some toast?
Boy housemate #2: Do you want some “harden-the-fuck-up”?
Gold Coast
Australia
Dude: I thought you could use chopsticks.
Chick: Why?
Dude: Because you have tattoos.
Chick: And that means I can use chopsticks?
Dude: Well, one of them is Chinese…
Noodle Man, Ryrie Street
Geelong
Australia
Overheard by: Does the septum ring make her part animal?
20-ish girl: But he still gave me a ticket!
20-ish guy: That sucks.
20-ish girl: The cop said I was criminally fast.
20-ish guy: That sounds hot.
Mirage Secret Garden
Las Vegas, Nevada
Guy: You guys should get her a vibrator for her birthday.
Girl #1: Or we could just find her a man…
Girl #2: Nah… I think buying a vibrator would be easier.
http://overheardinsydney.blogspot.com/
Canadian friend, after night out: I hope I wasn't being too annoying last night.
American friend: You weren't too bad. Until you started going on about the metric system.
French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana
Girl to two bald eagles: I will mate with you and you will like it. We will have hot eagahuman babies and you will like it!
Friend: Sarah, sometimes I swear you should have stayed in special ed longer.
Woodland Park Zoo
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: xhollisterluv1045
