That Hamster Was Extremely Sooty

Gay dude: No, they're just too greasy for me.
Fag hag: Says the Mexican…
Gay dude: Excuse me? I'm black by insertion.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: i don't like water

Posted on September 23, 2015
Default, Fag hags, Girls, Guys, Queers, Questions, Race, San Francisco, Sexuality

…Which Is Also What Tom Said.

Girl #1: So what are we looking for here?
Girl #2, distractedly: A birthday card for my boyfriend Tom*. (pauses) I mean…
Girl #1: Oh my god, you totally just called your best friend your boyfriend! If that's not a huge Freudian slip, I don't know what is.
Girl #2: Freud can suck my dick!

Culpeper, Virginia

Overheard by: freudian follower

Posted on September 22, 2015
Gifts, Girls, Insults, Mental illnesses, Questions, Relationships, Shopping, Virginia

She’s Been Full of Herself Ever Since Daddy Warbucks Adopted Her

Girl: … And she put all of these articles about how awesome redheads are and how rare they are all over the door and stuck Post-it notes on them saying things like, ‘I am a genetic rebel!’

Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on September 17, 2015
Girls, Gossip, Illinois

Sometimes Your Words Just Flow Out, Uncontrollably

Little girl: Is there diarrhea here? I love diarrhea!
Mother: I have no idea what you're talking about, but it doesn't sound good, so stop it.

Target
Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Amused Employee

Posted on September 14, 2015
Default, Feelings, Girls, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Poop, Stores, Weirdness, Women

And Breakfast Is the Most Important Meal Of the Day

Girl on cell: So he was like, “I was thinking about going to Austin, because Brian's there.” and I was like, “Fuck Brian. I make better waffles.”

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on September 14, 2015
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Food, Girls, Insults, Massachusetts, On the phone

If You Need a Longer Break, “Fluffy Pink Clouds 101” Is Right Down the Hall

Linda: Ugh, this class is so depressing!
Professor: Let’s all take ten seconds to think about baby lambs to make Linda feel happy. [pause] Okay, back to Terri Schiavo!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Posted on September 14, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Insults, New York, Offers and requests, Philosophy, Teachers

You’re Also an 87-Year-Old Asian Man.

Girl #1: Hey, I know you! Isn’t your name ‘Laura’?
Girl #2: No, not even close, actually.
Girl #1: Yes, it is. Your name is Laura.
Girl #2: No, it really isn’t.
Girl #1: Well, it is now.

Friendly’s
South Carolina

Posted on September 8, 2015
Default, Girls, Names, Questions, South Carolina

Mating Season Can Be Brutal in Canadia

Girl: This entire city smells like vagina.

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on September 7, 2015
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Girls, Sensory experiences, Vagina

“Action” Might Be Overstating It a Bit

Girl: Wait, I got some action from Alex* once when he was drunk… Does that make me a predator?
Guy: No, guys don’t really mind being taken advantage of.
Girl: Well, because he did pass out on me…

Oak Park, Illinois

Overheard by: Erin

Posted on September 7, 2015
Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Questions, Sex

And How You Spent Your Summer Vacation

Black girl on cell: So, uh? So then, you explain what a cracker is to you…

Tacoma Mall, Washington

Overheard by: Troy

Posted on September 6, 2015
Black people, Default, Girls, Malls, On the phone, Race, Washington, Words

Girls