Girls

Giddy girl, to guy in a wheelchair: Well, you certainly have sexual harassment down pat.

Art Department
University of Alaska

Sorority girl, crying: I’ve been working so hard, and I don’t feel like I’m being rewarded for it.
Professor: What? What do you mean?
Sorority girl, still crying: I mean, if I work so hard, I’ll just die if I don’t get an A.
Professor, irritated: Well, it’s only four weeks into the semester. Why are you worried about your grade now? I don’t guarantee any grades! [Professor leaves.]Sorority girl, to friend: Damn. I should have saved the tears until at least midterm. Now I’ll actually have to do the work. Damn.

University of Nevada, Las Vegas
Nevada

Dude: Oooh, they’re so warm. I like to put it to my ear after they get out.
Chick: Yeah… It smells like carrots.
Dude, scoffing: I don’t know what kind of carrots you’ve been eating!
Chick: The kind that smell like paper.

1401 University Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona

Girl student: Her family is so weird.
Guy student: How so?
Girl student: Her dad, like, goes in her backyard and catches squirrels.
Guy student, after long pause: Wait, what does he do with them?
Girl student: Raises them?

Starbucks
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Ashlie

Pretty girl in last night's dress #1: I feel like I smell really terrible. Can you smell me?
Pretty girl in last night's dress #2: Yeah. We should probably take a shower… wash away the sins of last night.

Nashville, Tennessee

Whiny-voiced 20-something: My period showed up two days early and ruined my weekend plans with that guy I was seeing.
20-something with baby: My period showed up two weeks late, stuck me with this, and ruined my life. Pass me one of those shirts in a medium?

Springfield, Illinois

Overheard by: Katie F

Hot girl: Either my dog is eating my underwear, or my vagina is so acidic it’s burning holes in them… Neither of which I would be pleased about.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Girl: So, what's the test going to be like?
Professor: Hard… No, I don't know. I've never done this before.

College Station, Texas

Teenage girl to friend: I wish I lived back when there were unicorns!

Wyoming

Girl #1: I was so disappointed when I found out Neil Patrick Harris is gay!
Girl #2: I know, right?
Girl #1: It's such a loss for womankind!
Girl #2: Men don't deserve him!

Women's Dressing Room
Western Michigan University