Girls

It’s My Major, You Know

Loud girl on oak lawn: So, where do the midgets come into it? I want my midget porn.

University of Western Australia
Australia

Overheard by: don’t we all

There’s Nothing You Can Do to Rehabilitate Its Coolness

Hipster girl pointing at piece of art: So, do you want to get it?
Hipster guy: Nah, we’ll get it somewhere else. I hate when people ask you, ‘Where did you get that?’ and you’re like, ‘Ikea…’

Ikea
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

And That One Didn’t Measure Up to My Standards

Chick #1: Ewww!
Chick #2: It wasn’t me! I take responsibility for all of my actions, including farts.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/06/with-great-power-comes-great.html

Overheard by: martin

But We’re Totally in the Clear with Wikipedia, Right?

Dude: You know, less than half of Snapple facts are true.
Chick: Really? Because I totally cited those in research papers.

College Park, Maryland

The Turkey Exploded Through the Neighbor’s Window Like a Mortar Round

20-ish girl, reminiscing: Yeah, one year we deep-fried a turkey… But then the driveway caught on fire.
Friend, laughing: What?! How?!
20-ish girl, distressed: I don’t want to talk about it right now.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Celessa Dietzel

And Enough Working Fingers to Run It?

Chick to group preparing to light vodka on fire: How many times has setting alcohol on fire gone horribly wrong for us?
Guy: You’re right. That said, who has a camera?

Carleton University
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Four-Eyed Men Are Illegal in Oklahoma

Little girl: I’ll tell you what my daddy looks like. He has eyeglasses and he’s a woman.

Car dealer
Midwest City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Reiza

And Then Put It Back, Unused

Teen girl #1: Lemur? What the hell’s a lemur?
Teen girl #2: Lemur is French for ‘light.’ You know, like the candlestick on Beauty and the Beast — lemur.
Teen girl #1: You’re so smart. How do you know this shit?
Teen girl #2: I took two years of French.

Lemur Exhibit, Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado

Might As Well Have Said, “He Has a 5-Inch Penis and a Job at Foot Locker”

Girl #1: I think he’s a nice guy.
Girl #2: Nice is the ultimate mediocrity.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/minnesota_mediocrity.html

Overheard by: girl in scrubs

She Only Meant You’ll Spread Your Legs for Every Cock That Comes Your Way

Girl on phone: No, I’m sure she didn’t mean that… No, really, you must have taken it wrong… No! Trust me, I’m sure when she called you a whore she didn’t mean it that way!

Grand Valley State University
Allendale, Michigan

Overheard by: breakin-laker

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