Girls

Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he’d take it as a compliment…
Guy: I get it! It’s because he’s gay!

University of Alabama
Alabama

Blonde #1: I saw a church sign the other day that said “Let Jesus be a part of your rainbow.” Isn’t that, like, gay?
Blonde #2: Maybe you’re supposed to think about Jesus when you’re having gay sex.
Blonde #1: Ohhh… I get it now.

Piscataway, New Jersey

Overheard by: …. I don’t think anyone gets it.

Sorority girl #1: I should, like, just wear mini skirts all the time.
Sorority girl #2: Why?
Sorority girl #1: I have great legs, they’re my best asset. [quiet pause] But I don’t like my personality.

Dressing Room at Buffalo Exchange
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Yes! She just redeemed herself

Preppy brunette on cell: So did you hear? Hillary won the primaries yesterday! [Pause.] Wait, you mean there’s more than one?

JMU Bookstore
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: baffled

Teen girl, shouting: It is time to accessorize my baby!

Aurora, Colorado

Girl #1: It was cause and effect, he bit me on my hip.
Girl #2: So you slept with him?

Kalamazoo, Mississippi

Muslim girl: Ramadan Mubarak!
Girl: What does that mean?
Muslim girl: It means, like, “Yay, it’s Ramadan!”
Girl: So, like … “Yay, I’m not eating or having sex most of the day!”?

Ottawa
Canadia

Girl #1: Owww, my sternum hurts. Wait…I have one of those, right?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Don’t only boys have sternums?
[pause]Girl #3: I think you’re thinking of scrotum…

University of Scranton
Scranton, Pennsylvania

Tween girl to crowd of loitering friends: Everyone’s bisexual… except for Jenny.

Outside Starbucks
Avon, Connecticut

Teen girl wearing a warm jacket: Hey, Kim.
Kim: [Wearing pretty much nothing.] Oooh, you look warm! Can I put my hand inside you?

Los Angeles, California