God, I Miss College

College girl: Remember that girl who admitted to stealing my clothes from the laundry room?
Friend: Yeah?
College girl: Well, she finally gave me my clothes back at the end of the semester before she mysteriously disappeared. I was like going through them and I found not just my clothes, but like other people’s clothes too. Not just girls either. I found tighty-whities and shit. But the weirdest part was at the bottom of the basket. There was a plastic bag of jewelry ranging from like cheapo rhinestone shit to like semiprecious stones, a tv remote with no batteries, a crazy-straw, some masking tape, an empty lipstick tube thing, and a handful of Canadian money.

Newark, New Jersey

Posted on December 26, 2025
Assholes, Clothes, Crimes, Default, Friends, Girls, Mental illnesses, Money, New Jersey, Sorority types, Weirdness

Might Want to Start Off with “I’m Straight.”

Girl: Look, you have to tell her.
Guy: I can’t tell her! I’ve kept this for so long!
Girl: If she really loves you that much she’ll understand.
Guy: How can I tell the girl that I love that I don’t like musicals?!

Bruin Walk, UCLA
California

Overheard by: if that’s the worst thing in your relationship…

Posted on December 26, 2025
Advice, California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Fears, Girls, Guys, Movies, Relationships

And Barricading the Door When I Came to Office Hours

Girl: He stopped calling on me in class for a while after I started his fan club on facebook.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on December 25, 2025
Default, Education, Girls, Illinois, Internet

They Lacked the Sweet Aroma Of Chemicals and Seared Flesh

Brunette girl: Well, they were blondes, but they were natural blondes, so not like, hot blondes.

Melbourne
Australia

Posted on December 22, 2025
Australia, Beauty, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Gossip, Hair

Which They Got Fucking a Liar

Drunk girl, loudly: Anyone who says they’ve never had an itchy asshole is just fucking lying.

Cock O the Walk Bar
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Beer Bitch

Posted on December 21, 2025
Ass, Default, Drunks, Education, Girls, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Lies, Oklahoma

And Live in a Parental-Notification State

Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Really? Well, even though you’re three weeks late, you totally don’t have to worry until a month after you guys actually did it. So you’ve definitely got at least a week left until you need to start worrying.
Teen girl #2: … Really?
Teen girl #1: Yes, I’m completely sure. You’re totally fine. Golden. Except that you’re 17 and might be pregnant.

Dallas Airport
Dallas, Texas

Posted on December 20, 2025
Advice, Airports & flights, Default, Fears, Friends, Girls, Pregnancy, Sexuality, Teens, Texas

Of All the Ways to Describe Giving Birth…

Chick to friend: Can I get that pulled out of my cervix in September?

Davis Square
Somerville, Massachusetts

Posted on December 18, 2025
Default, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Questions, Time Management

Who Knew Yuppie Teens Could Leave Us So Intrigued?

Yuppie teen girl #1: I’m sooo glad it didn’t happen when those boys were looking at the restaurant!
Yuppie teen girl #2: Your face is totally like a target for their… like… stuff.

Hotel elevator
South Carolina

Overheard by: wtf are you talking about?